Soul Food

There was a time in my life when all I wanted was to be in an intimate relationship and to have a throng of friends.

Chalk those desires up to not having a model of a working and caring intimate relationship in my childhood. As well, I quenched my thirst for romance through Mills and Boones' novels and all that taught me was love was an illusive thing.

Being an only child, I desperately wanted the camaderie of a big family, brothers and sisters to play with and learn from. There were other children in our house from time to time, boarders and such the like, however there was always an invisible barrier between us. My mother did not encourage my having friends, so the longing grew deeper.

It was not until 35 years later that I realized what that empty, piercing space meant. Lovers, marriages and friends (some really good ones and some that I could have done well without) had come and gone. Yet, the hole deepened almost reaching the soles of my feet.

During one of those moments, when standing was too painful and I laid on my tummy in the walk-in closet of my spacious bedroom, that awareness came.

Working as a hospital chaplain, it was my privilege to sit with people from all walks of life. Often, as we held hands (I am a touchy-feely kind of person), patients would let me into their most intimate space - their souls. Never did I hear one of these patients say, "I wish I had more friends, more money, more lovers." Most had lots of friends, close family and a spouse.

What these patients expressed, particularly the terminally ill and/or the ones who I was standing in the gap with as they made their transition, was a desire for God/Source/Light.

Different names were used to describe the love that their souls were reaching for in those moments. Some were not Christians or "believers" of any traditional 'way'. As a multifaith chaplain, I had to serve Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Wiccans, and atheists among others. Lying on those hospital beds, surrounded or not by loved ones, the desire was the same - to connect with the Soul's Source.

Lying on my closet floor, seemingly alone, abandoned and lost, I too reached out for that connection. What was said is hardly important. It was the feeling, the urgent wordless cry to be reconnected, aligned and in lockstep with all that is, The One, that 'saved' me.

I do not know your beliefs, your path or your way. Actually, it does not matter. It is the care of your soul and mine that unites us and all that matters to me.

No lover, no friend, not even family can feed your inner being what it really needs. They may point a way but it will be theirs. Only you can find that Source of food that will feed you.

If there is any help that we may offer, a drink of water on your journey, please free to ask. You make connect with us through this blog, on Facebook or Twitter.

Be blessed and have a great Sunday! Namaste