Saturday 8 February 2014

Thief: How To Catch Or Stop Being One

"People who violate your boundaries are thieves. They steal time that doesn’t belong to them." Elizabeth Grace Saunders 
I was such a thief!

It took all of 40 years for me to be caught, thrown before the courts and sentenced! The presiding judge on my case, thankfully, understood the journey that brought me before her.

She was compassionate even though no-nonsense. While she listened to my explanations and recounting of all that had been done to me, she was not beguiled by any of it.

My court case took six months. One hour twice per week, through snow then spring rain, I would make my way to my psychologist's (the judge) office downtown Edmonton, Alberta. It had taken a couple months to find "the best fit," as after agreeing with my friends that professional help was needed, the challenge was finding the right professional.

This Jewish therapist got me. By the second session, she had a handle on claudette and saw glimpses of Claudette. Long before my insurance coverage ran out, working in tandem with my Spiritual Director (a Catholic Nun who I trusted and loved world without end), this therapist was conversing with Claudette.

Breakthrough occurred the third time we sat on the floor with her basket of yarns. The exercise was to choose yarn by colour that represented people who played and/or continued to play significant roles in my life. I would string the yarn around my body within a virtual range of their proximity to me. This was indicative of how close they were to me and how much they influenced me.

As the exercise progressed, she instructed me to move the yarn either further from or closer to my body as guided by my Spirit. This is why she was an excellent therapist for me as she easily and comfortably blended science and spirituality to help her clients heal.

This form of Body Talk therapeutic approach was largely responsible for sentencing me to a life of Freedom!

Boundaries were at the root of my emotional challenges and balance was the key ingredient for my healing. In my childhood, my sense of boundaries was never allowed to develop due to:
  • Sexual abuse and molestation 
  • Parental abuse - verbal and physical (mother) 
  • Abandonment (father) 
Seeking to find my place in the world, like everyone else who had these experiences, I was wide open to even more imbalances. Intimate relationships became power struggles, my pursuit of higher education was so driven it almost burnt by brain out and my career was less about passion but more focused on getting to the top as quickly as possible.

Power - I had lost it (or so I thought) at the hands of molesters, abusers, lovers and general users. My efforting was to regain my power and I was completely out of balance, invading other people's boundaries and unhappy.

Fast forward six years and a significant relationship crashed to the floor, amidst deceit and attempted manipulation. My dog philosophy came right to the fore. With my life in way more balance - I was at peace with my past and with where I was.  Finally,  I was doing Me, how I wanted and, more important, as led by Spirit. So, I simply peed on the dying relationship and moved on.

Balance of body, mind and Spirit allows you to be clear about who you are, what you will do and who you will do it with and for. 

Equally, having balance in your life erases any desire to step over anyone's borders. Those who want you in their lives will issue a 'entry permit' which clearly states where you can go and where is off limits. Read carefully and feel within yourself whether that territory matches your exploratory plan. Otherwise, just pee on it and move right along!

Check out this website for more information on Body Talk Therapy and find a local therapist if you feel out of balance. Stop being a thief and/or learn to spot one!

Feel free to share your thoughts on this or any other topic with me here, on Facebook or on Twitter. Also, have you considered joining us in Jamaica in December? Look at our Events page and make your reservation soon!

Have a great Saturday!

Photo Source: yoddler.com

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