Thursday 16 January 2014

Mixing It Up: Interracial Love

This one is personal. It is intimate on all sorts of levels. Who knows, it may even be controversial.

Continuing our theme of "Living in Awareness," we turn our spotlight today on our world and how its inhabitants, humans, are "intermingling," might we say?

Photo Source: huffingtonpost.com
Interracial couples, relationships, marriages and families - they are everywhere! People of African descent mixing it up with Europeans. Asian blending with East Indians. Filipinos merging with Jamaicans. Persians doing the salsa with Latinos. You name it and cities such as Toronto has the mix for you!

Yours truly, for example, is married to a Canadian-born man of Scottish descent, red head and all!

Mixed marriages were once illegal in the United States but not anymore. In 2012, one news headline read: "Interracial marriage in US hits new high: 1 in 12," and reported that a Pew Research Centre study found that "8.4 percent of all current U.S. marriages are interracial, up from 3.2 percent in 1980. While Hispanics and Asians remained the most likely, as in previous decades, to marry someone of a different race, the biggest jump in share since 2008 occurred among blacks, who historically have been the most segregated." 

Statistics Canada had similar findings in that country with newspaper headlines trumpeting: "Number of Mixed-Race Couple on the Rise in Canada." Shock of all shocks as the great White North was turning brown???

Not everyone welcomed this news. Another shock.

The report from Canada was, although interracial couples was one of the fastest growing demographics particularly in urban centres, growing by 33% between 2001 - 2006, prejudicial attitudes towards mixed marriages was still rearing its ugly head.

When my husband told his late father that he was getting married, I could hear him repeatedly saying, "Yes Dad, she is a black girl." Granted I was over 40 at the time and so was he but he had to reassure his father that he had not drank some jungle juice and everything "is gonna be alright."

We lived in Alberta, the most conservative province in all of Canada, and that accounted for some of the stares we got walking through the mall. To bump it up a notch, my husband and I would hold hands and virtually skip through the place! It was downright hilarious to see the reactions, priceless in fact.

Yet bittersweet.  Why? Well, some of the most harsh stares came from "my own" - people, especially the men, of African descent. The looks, or I interpreted the knitted brows, the hissing of teeth and the furled lips to say, "Sister, why? Why have you done a thing like that?"

One fellow/brother at the institution where I worked had the cojones enough to ask me whether I "married a white man to get ahead?" Being the 'biatch' that I can be, especially in that male-dominated environment where guts meant everything, my response was, "Is that what you and all the other brothers were trying to do with those Becky's that landed you inside?" He never passed his place with me again nor did anyone else.

Marrying or even dating someone from another race/culture is no walk in the park. So many issues arise, from which food will take precedence in your household, cultural traditions that will be followed or at least respected or dress styles just to name a few. Add children to the mix and you have a way more complex life, starting with a seemingly simple thing as how their hair is to be groomed.

Sidebar: My Caucasian Sistahs with your mixed Afro kids: it's so not cute and culturally insensitive to have them running around with unkempt hair!  Message me for basic nappy hair care instructions please!

Do visit and *Like* our Facebook page today as we explore the many expressions, challenges and the beauty of interracial love. You can also follow us on Twitter @DOSFoundation.

Have a blessed day!



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