Monday 19 January 2015

Warning, Dead End Ahead!

Yes, you can climb over walls, jump over hurdles and crawl under some barriers. A dead end, however, is a dead end.

"Dead end: n.1.a. An end of a passage, especially a street, that affords no exit.b. A street or road affording no exit.
2. A situation or subject that allows for no progress or development. (Source:American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition.)

"An end of passage." That is exactly where I found myself after returning to a situation that had already shown its true colours. Invited to stay until it was time to depart for my island home, this family member (in law) almost immediately broke every offer he had made. I hung on thinking that it was me, my impatience or my unrealistic expectation that people would actually say what they really mean. After several months of discomfort, liberties being taken, betrayal of trust and a display of lifestyle choices totally degrading to women, I packed and left.

That was not the end, however, as I returned after being convinced that things would be different, apologies extended and a commitment given that there would be no repeat performance of the disgusting attitude towards women.

I was in limbo, at an economic disadvantage and not yet fully at peace with being alone. These are some of the reasons that cause blindness, deafness and general sensory malfunction to cues that loudly signals "This is a dead end!"

We hope that things will change, he/she will change, the boss will change or maybe we will get accustomed to the fact that there will be no change. We try to accept and live with the status quo.

There is a price for doing that, however, one that can cost everything that matters: self respect, self esteem, self love and freedom.

Thankfully in my case, all these were very grounded in my being, so despite the economic benefits of staying, I left and this time never looking back.

One very valuable lesson that this particular dead end reinforced for me was that I will always grow through anything and thrive. That is the "blesson" of dead ends.

While dead ends are situations "that allows for no progress or development," they are also growth points. Well, if you choose to make them so. Some people prefer the comfort of no development, stagnation. Sounds like madness to others, myself included, however some folks like the "habit" of what they know or have come to accept.

When I come up to a dead end, my excitement level actually increases. Yes, I am one of the crazies who have come to love change.

Dead ends are a precious opportunity for change in:
  • Yourself
  • Circumstances
  • Choices (Career, lifestyle, etc)
  • Relationships (intimate, family and friendships)

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to avoid, determine if you are in a dead end situation or heading for one:

  1. What is my vision for my [fill in]?
  2. What do I value most in this (job, relationship)?
  3. What am I most passionate about with this .....?
  4. What are my strengths in this ....?
  5. Is this ... in alignment with and nurtures  my vision, values, passion and my strengths?

The last question is where the buck either stops or increase in value. You get to decide.

Should you need support, feel free to connect with me here or through my page. As well, you can get daily motivation at DOS Foundation.

Continue to have a great day and keep growing!


Claudette is the Founder of DOS Foundation and the main Author and Editor of this blog.

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