Question 21: What More Do You Wish...?

Today’s Question is a tricky one – at least for me.

“What do you wish there was more of in the world?”

Apologies for the absence of an article yesterday – my hours in the office were much longer than usual and there was simple not enough time in my day to sit an write one. Maybe that could be my wish – more time in the world?

No, there is enough time – it is a matter of managing what is on one’s plate, clearing some and simply not putting others on it. My response to Question #21 in our October series is “Nothing.”

Maybe when I was numerically younger, immature and did not yet have my particular life experiences, my response would have been that I wish there was more money to go around. It was my view back then that money solved every problem we could imagine. The fallacy in this thought has been proven to me in my own life but more so as I observe, like most of us, how just as or messed up “people with money” lives can be.

Peace? Tolerance? These are all great things! Yet, is it not subjective to think that there is not enough in our world? Would it not be dependent on your perspective, where you live, who you meet and your experiences in any given moment to feel a need for more?

Honestly, I have no pat answer for this question. Why? My “world,” the one that I choose to focus on, has Enough – money, peace, and more than anything else – Love.

I guess my hope would be that “more” of us would see our world as Enough – so need to rob, maim, envy, hate or war against each other for racial, cultural, religious or any other reasons.

I wish for more Enough-ness? Is that a wish? Well, it is mine.

What is your wish? Share with us here or on our Facebook page where you will find all my answers to the daily questions.

Namaste.

Day #16: What Was Your Last Embarrassment?

My last embarrassing moment?

That is a challenging one to answer. What some might consider embarrassing, I see as uncomfortable at worse but more a teaching moment for me.

As I have written before in a blog post, one of my favourite retorts to my close friends is that “my shame tree has long been chopped down!” It is very hard to shame me either because I just do not put myself in situations that would cause me to be or I consider the consequences of all my actions before doing them - and accept them. Therefore no room for regrets, embarrassment or shame. 

Not since 2006.

My partner of 16 years had walked out and my heart followed. I was having a hard time accepting what had occurred even though the relationship had been on very rocky grounds for a long time. My mind was not maneuvering the corners of the deceit and disloyalty that had played out right under not just my nose but that of the other party whose partner had run off with mine.

Shameless, in a silly and desperate way, for weeks I tried everything possible to win my partner back. From leaving multiple voice mails to calling everyone under the sun who I thought could help get us back together, I eventually resorted one fine morning to going to my now ex’s place of employment to beseech and beg.

What occurred next was embarrassing to say the least. It was what pushed me over the edge – again – and my second suicide attempt occurred.

Instead of coming out to speak with me – as we had not had a conversation since the day of the Walk Out – security was called to escort me off the property! My explanation to the cold and totally disinterested Man In Black went nowhere and I was threatened with the Police being called to arrest me for harassment.

Okay, so maybe it was – harassment that is, however, until that day I did not see it that way. We had being together for 16 years for crying out loud. I had made so many changes to my life and career path to accommodate my partner, including migrating to Canada, that I felt I was owed an explanation.

That was my last embarrassing moment. Once the healing commenced, I was never to be embarrassed again. Uncomfortable, yes. Embarrassed by my own action or that of another, no. 

What about you, what was your last embarrassing moment? Share with us here or on our Facebook page.

Have a shame-free rest of the week and weekend. Remember, there will be no blog posts until Monday. You can stay in touch with us through our Facebook page or on Twitter @DOSFoundation

Namaste. 

Claudette

Hello! Are You Awake? Day #15

Morning person I am. Very much so and very much unlike my daughter and now my granddaughter.

To answer specifically today's Question: What time did you wake up this morning? I was awake at approximately 6:35.

Hardly ever is it necessary for me to set an alarm. Not even on weekend mornings do I sleep beyond 7:00 a.m. My usual hour of awakening is 3:00 a.m.

That is when Spirit rouses me for quiet conversations.

These early morning talks started many years ago. At first I thought it was merely insomnia, however, days would pass and my sleep pattern was the same. Then, wham! My 3:00 a.m. wake up call would go off.

Image: pinterest.com

When my spiritual journey intensified back in 2002, my life turned upside down, became even more chaotic than it ever was. Yet, from somewhere deep inside me, I knew it was the beginning of my true awakening.

For most of our lives, our feet hit the floor every morning and we get up and get going about our daily routine. We call ourselves awake and are convinced that we are living an awakened life. The contrary could not be more true.

Most are sleepwalking. I did exactly that for 37 years.

My Life alarm went off one day when I looked around and our house was empty save for a couple mattresses on the floor and one car left in the garage awaiting pick up by its new owner.

We had sold off and packed up everything, ready to fly away to our perceived Promise Land - Canada, then all hell broke loose. In Jamaica we have a saying, "when man a plan, God a wipe out." That is exactly how it seemed. Once again, things were not going according to our plans anymore. The proverbial devil had stepped in, at least so it seemed to my then partner who had days earlier received a permanent resident card and, to my shock seemingly ready to fly away without us.

Looking back, it was a challenge to my faith; a question and an alarm for me to wake up. I did, somewhat.

It would be a 12 year rousing but The Divine is patient with sleepyheads.

Image: pinterest.com

Today, October 15, 2014 my daughter's birthday, I physically got up close to 7:00 but spiritually, I have not slept for quite a few months now.

How about you? What time did your feet touch the floor this morning? When did you awaken or are you only sleepwalking?

Share your story with us here or on our Facebook page and stay alert throughout this day! Namaste.

The Last Piece Of Furniture Bought: Day #14

Five days since our last blog post and what a peaceful time it has been. Fridays through Sundays are not usually posting days for us and yesterday, Monday, October 13 was Thanksgiving Day here in Canada.

Over this period, we continued to pose and answer the October Questions of the Day on our Facebook page.

Today, Day #14 and the next question in the series which really is not a question is to describe the last piece of furniture you bought. Given that on a Tuesday we also deal with relationship issues on DOS, an actual question was added.

Image: pinterest.com

What I will, therefore, attempt to do in this post is: "Describe the last piece of furniture that I bought and how it affects my significant relationships."

Regular readers will know that I returned to Canada almost six months to the day. Leaving Jamaica was not my first choice as I had gone there late 2013 to set up a snow bird base. That bird being me - the one who was getting tired of Canadian winters and following up a long held desire to return to the land of my birth.

I had reluctantly migrated to Canada a decade plus ago. My then partner had an unquenchable desire to live overseas and mine was equally to please said desire. When that relationship ended eight years ago to the day, I knew I wanted to return to Jamaica. Money, however, stopped me.

Without the necessary financial resources and foreseeable means to earn it on the island, I had to remain in Canada. As the years passed, my longing did not die and so, in 2013 still without a largesse in hand but with a promise of a good flow of income, I gave away what little furniture I had left and went home.

After five months and the promises not materializing, news of my daughter's pregnancy and with her reconnecting with me, I returned to my other 'home' - Edmonton.

Now, I can honestly say this was the best decision for this leg of my journey. As I sat on the Westjet flight taking me back to the city where our Canadian citizenship began, I knew this was a healing time.

People often ask me, especially men, what do I like to do in my spare time. My response always highlights my love of cooking. Yet, it is more than cooking.

My passion is to feed the soul - my own and that of others.

Comfort is what I specialise in - comfort food and comforting words. I love to cook as much as I love to communicate. Throughout my adult years and most definitely since I accepted what I believe to be my mission for the rest of my life, some of the most meaning-filled conversations occurred in my kitchen.

The last and most significant piece of furniture that I bought was a dark wood, four seat dining table. It has a chip on one corner that lends character to it.

My daughter and granddaughter at breakfast

When I moved into my new place a few months ago, I told my daughter,  the first and one of the most significant persons in my life, to be fed at my 'new' dining table that I will be not be furnishing the place lavishly but lovingly.

Lavish or close to it I have done before and it did not bring me love. This time around, my place is furnished with few pieces, most of which were either given to me or bought secondhand, like the dining table.

There are a few new pieces, appliances and odds and ends. For the most part, however, my place will be sparsely furnished and with the greatest emphasis on the kitchen.

Food for the body and soul is my 'business' and my last purchased piece of furniture - my dining table - is my main equipment.

What was yours? Share with us here or on our Facebook page. Whatever it was, do make the most of it.

Namaste

Claudette is the Founder of DOS Foundation and Editor and main Author of this blog

The Mistake! Day #9

The Mistake of mistakes in my experience was trying to live my daughter’s life.

Well not quite.

Due to all the other mistakes that I had made and had learned from, I wanted so desperately for her not to make the same ones. My words to her were “Go make new ones, no need repeating the same old ones that I made and your grandmother before me!”

She would have none of it and I would not stop trying. Then one day, things just came to an head and we were poles apart. We literally did not speak with each other for months and when we tried to reconcile, it soon blew up in our faces as the control would rear its head. Funny enough, she tried to exert some measure of control on my life as I did to her.

My daughter and I at our Citizenship Ceremony

During that time, with much prayer, reflection, support and guidance of Source through friends/Sistahs, I released her, my desires for her and my fears.

Now she has her own child, a daughter as well, and I am praying that she will learn this lesson much earlier than I did. Either way, things always work out, especially when Love is the present.

That is my answer to today’s Question – “What was THE mistake?”

Share yours here or on our Facebook page and have a great rest of the day – it’s Friday tomorrow, yeah!!!

What Book Will You Read Next? Question #8

For some reason, my reading of books has greatly reduced in the last year.

When I was living in Toronto with little to no friends, books reclaimed my attention as they previously did. With limited funds to spare, each month I would budget a certain amount and visit either Walmart or Chapters/Indigo and make my purchase.

Before leaving Jamaica last year November, I donated most of the books that I had bought and then shipped a couple boxes to my island home. Books are my favourite adornment for my home and now that I have a new place, fortunately I was able to retrieve the ones that a friend had stored for me.

Since the beginning of this year, I have not purchased a book and so today’s question – “What’s the next book will you read?” – had me stumped. It also woke me up that my love of and for books had taken a back seat in the last several months.

That will change. This afternoon, I opened the Goodreads app on my phone and found the BBC Book List Challenge. I was proud of myself as I realised that I have read most, if not all of the classics. As such, I will begin reading books again as of this weekend.

The next book that I will read is – The Little Old Lady WhoBroke All The Rules by Catharina Ingelman-Sundberg.

What will you read next? Share with us here or on our Facebook page and do enjoy your next read.

What Was The Last Stupid Thing You Did? Question #7

In my 40+ years, I have made so many mistakes and I regret not one.

My mistakes, thankfully, saved me from ‘stupidity’ or as Einstein says “insanity.”

Today’s Question of the Day is; “What was the last stupid thing you did?”

Stupidity to me is tantamount to insanity – thinking that doing the same thing over and over again will result in a different result.  Mistakes on the other hand, occur when one attempts to do something and it turns out not to be in your best interest.

These are some of the lessons that my former stupidity taught me

It is stupid to:

1. Spend more than you earn every single month, hoping to somehow balance your cheque book
2. Eat way more than your metabolism can naturally handle and expect not to gain weight
3. Maintain relationships with people who continually treat you as a doormat with the hope that one day soon they will see your value
4. Be the ‘other person’ in relationship, knowingly participating in infidelity and think the person will change and never cheat on you

Claudette Esterine

Do I make mistakes? Absolutely, every day and I welcome them. When was the last time I did something stupid? I cannot recall – it has been a while – almost eight years to date, I think. That is my story and I am sticking to it.

What about you? Do you make mistakes or have you escalated and remained at the “stupid” level? Share with us here or on our Facebook page and have a great rest of the day!

Image: quotessays.com