Wednesday 6 August 2014

Stop Working Like A Dog

Claudette Esterine
The topic was “Working Like A Dog,” and my intent was to connect that particular notion to the relationships that we enter.

Tempted as I am to say that I was working like a dog hence my not being able to write a post yesterday, I will not because truth be told, I have not worked like the proverbial dog in a long time. In fact, another truth is that personally, I have never seen a dog working!

As promised yesterday, today’s blog will cover this topic as well as today’s informal/indirect topic of being your own healer, medicine woman or even shaman.

In my lifetime, we have had about five (5) dogs: two mongrels that for the life of me I cannot remember their names, Murmar (a Doberman), Betty (my first and only full breed Shi-tzu), Angello ( a Pomeranian-Shi-tzu cross) and Marley (son of Angello).

Five or six dogs later, I am yet to see a dog working!

I have seen them sleep, play, eat, then sleep, play and eat some more. Yet, I think the thought behind the phrase does not escape me, however it is not one I endorse – not any longer.

Years ago a book entitled “Do What You Love And The Money Will Follow” was given to me. My sarcasm was no match to my then partner’s, yet I read it and had one of many light bulb moments. The book received mixed reviews, from the usual bunch of critical and disbelieving suspects to the so-called hippy, new age gang who believe in chanting “Om” all day.

A quote from that book by Marsha Sinetar changed any notion I had that it was my duty to work like a dog, to achieve my desires or to get or maintain any relationship.
“To find in ourselves, she said, “or what makes life worth living is risky business, for it means that once we know we must seek it.  It also means that without it, life will be valueless.”
Dogs know who and to whom they belong – and so do I. What I see dogs do is loving their human partners, or you might prefer saying owners, unconditionally – without losing their identities as dogs. That is what most of us do – once we are in any type of relationship.

I love her dearly, however, one of my Sistah-friends will tell you that no matter how hard she has tried to get me to dress a certain way or worse yet go clothes shopping with her – it has not happened and will not happen! I am Me.

To even contemplate living truly like a dog – loving unconditionally, playing gleefully, eating well and sleeping blissfully (not working like one) one must first find themselves. That means healing past hurts, taking the lessons they offered instead of covering them over with guilt, shame, platitudes or even pretense. Moving forward, it is even more important to adopt another dog attitude – “if you cannot eat it or play with it, then piss on it and move on!"

No one can do your inner work for you; no one can do your healing. You have to come to the point where you no longer have a need or desire to be anyone’s dog or doormat; ready to heal your life and allow what is yours to follow.

Read through our blog archives and you will most certainly find ample practical tips to start this healing journey, ways to stop “working like a dog” to fit anyone’s expectations and stories about how my co-authors and I stepped out on this journey to authentic living. As well, *Like* us on Facebook and receive updates as they are posted. 

Namaste.

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