Should I Die Tonight...

If my belief system was other than it is, the turn of events today would have me spooked.

What gets written as our daily topic is more often than not decided in the early morning hours when my eyes open. I check in with my inner self, figuratively feel my pulse and ask for guidance.

This morning around 4:30, the response was bucket list.

Do you have a one?

About 20 years ago I wrote mine. There were about 70+ activities, things to get, places to see, etc on my first writing. Over the years, up to about six or so years ago, I would pull it out and cross out what was accomplished or note the progress on a particular activity.

My bucket list has not seen the light of day in years. Written in one of those multi-subject notebooks, my list has been in a box that has now been in storage for about three years. I actually do not recall now more than half of what is left on my list. And I do not care!

Life is not about lists.

When I first thought of this topic today and did the first few posts on our Facebook page, I imagined that this piece would be focussed on some of the things left to do on my list before I kick the bucket.

Then I went to work with every intention to write on those my outstanding listed items over my supper break. As always the case with me, Life happened and my bucket list will remain closeted.

A member of my team passed away in his sleep last night. He was about eight years older than me. Only yesterday evening he and I exchanged pleasantries, chit chatted and said goodbye as I left the office. That was to be our last conversation but neither of us knew.

His wife called today to share the news of his passing. She noted that they spent a lovely day together earlier yesterday for which she was most grateful.

Death is not something I fear anymore but I was stunned this afternoon when my boss asked me into her office, closed the door and gave me the news.

My team was given the news when they arrived to start their shift this evening. I quickly slipped into my chaplain persona and hugged a couple as their tears flowed copiously on my shoulder. The team was given the evening off with full pay, in honour of our colleague's memory. (I do work for one of the most generous and caring organizations anyone could dream of!)

Before leaving the office myself (my boss texted me "You are to go home as well Missy"), I texted a friend to hang out but then changed my mind.

Instead, I searched online for a movie then called my daughter and invited her out on a date.

No more meaningless 'hang outs', conversations or relationships (not that I have any) for me.

Should I die in my sleep tonight or any night for that matter, I want the last person with me to be like my late staff member's wife and say, "Claudette and I had such a lovely time yesterday, then she returned to Source."

That is my revised bucket list. What is on yours?

Rest In Peace Don.