She was not her usual bubbly self upon her arrival. Neither was I.
My attention was on getting some urgent paper work done but
I did notice her frequent glances towards me. I dared not meet her eyes as the
paper work needed to be done and frankly, “I was not in the mood for the
stories this evening,” I said to myself.
That was me yesterday at work with one of my team members
and today being Wednesday we have an audio blog – something that we have not
had in at least two weeks now. My apologies for that but my attention was
elsewhere – on my new grandbaby who I am happy to report has gained one pound
since being discharged from the hospital a week ago. Kitten as I call her was
born prematurely and weighed only four pounds. This little angel, in spite of
her weight, has been a powerhouse in my life already teaching me many lessons,
including the one that is our topic today – Boundaries.
This is a topic we have covered before but for the life of
me I cannot pinpoint an exact date of the article, so here is your opportunity
to browse our blog archive and read the many articles we have on a variety of
topics.
Within a couple hours of my staff member’s arrival, we were
locked away in a more private place having a conversation on boundaries. She
was suicidal or intimated to me that she has been feeling that way for a few
days now. Yes, I could not ignore her for the entire evening as my conscience
would not allow me to and I did notice that her glances in my direction were becoming
more pleading.
Here is a woman who has been through hell and back to raise
her children. As a single parent, she held down three sometimes four jobs to
ensure they – all five of them – had full tummies, clothes on their backs and a
roof over their heads. Now adults, all except one has recognised what their
mother went through to keep them safe, facilitate their education and to get
them on their feet. There is one, however, who at 30+ years of age, feels her
mother still owes her and is determined to extract as much as she can for
herself, her child and the baby in her tummy. Mom must pay all her credit card
bills, babysit on demand, purchase gifts and toys for the grandchild and
prepare a wardrobe for the baby that is expected in six months.
As I listened to her story, wiped her tears and talked her
off the ledge that she is so familiar with having literally dived off at least
once, I knew her experience was also another message to me. Like her, I have
dealt with my own share of family who thought I owed them my life, the blood flowing
through my veins and for the air that I breathe. It was not until my own bout
with clinical depression and attempted suicide that the lesson of boundary
setting started to make sense as the only option for me to maintain my sanity.
In my school years, we had Guidance classes. Yet this lesson
was never taught. It seems to me that children should be taught about
boundaries – what they are, how to set them and recognize when they are being
violated.
If I were taught this, maybe the many incidents of domestic
abuse, low self-esteem, parental abuse, mean friends and other forms of
boundary-smashing would not have occurred or at least been at minimal. Talking
with my member of staff yesterday, I reminded her that being spiritual does not
mean allowing others, including or children and/or their spouses to take
advantage of us. There is nothing written in any book that I care to read that
says a grandparent MUST dedicate the rest of their lives and every penny they
earn to raising another generation of children.
No book that I care to read states that any of us must allow
others to dictate what kind of humans we are to be. Only Source determines that
and we along with It.
Do visit our Facebook page and share with us any strategies
you have for maintaining your boundaries and do continue to have a great rest
of the day.
Namaste
Related Posts: Are You In A Toxic Relationship?
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