Tuesday, 22 July 2014

Dignity: You Either Have It Or Need It!

"No relationship, none, should require you to surrender, suppress or suffocate your dignity." Claudette Esterine

An absolute statement and I am standing by it.

Not your relationship with your parents, siblings, relatives, friends, co-workers, employer, neighbours, pastor...should I go on? No relationship, especially the one with the person you probably are with most and definitely most intimate - your lover, husband, wife, partner or spouse - should compromise your dignity.

Defined in the dictionary as "the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect," "a sense of pride in oneself; self-respect," dignity goes to the core of our beings.

The last thing you can call me is a prude. You really would not know me very well if you did so. However, there are some things that I will not do with some (or a certain) lover(s). Why? Simple. It feels uncomfortable and compromising of my self respect in that relationship.

I know you are probably thinking that I am referring to some "kinky" sexual act. You would be wrong.

Image: quotes-lovers.com
In one relationship, I would not serve my partner a meal or clear their place at the dining table. Meanwhile, in another, I would wipe their butt if needs be and gladly.

The difference? No, not that one is as "ugly" as sin and the other the best looking (and tastiest) thing since sliced bread.

The way I feel, the way that I am honoured, respected, cherished and cared for is the difference.

A physically ugly mate who genuinely treats me as his/her priced treasure, respects my womanhood, uplifts my intelligence and nurtures my heart will have me turning tricks for them! Yup, you read right!

The cute one who thinks his/her crap can make meatloaf, well let us say we would not be together for too long.

My sense of self has grown intensely in the last eight years. It has been a long, hard and sweet series of battles but a "war" or better yet a challenge that is not over. In my case, sometimes it is not a lover who threatens to shake me off my high self respect perch but my child, a member of staff or more recently my child's partner.

Image: mediawebapps.com
What these people fail to understand is that once a person has tasted the deliciousness of personal freedom, you cannot serve them the bitterness of subjugation. It is very much like education this thing we call 'dignity'. Once you learn it, you cannot unlearn it and you hunger for more not less.

Is that your experience? Share your thoughts with me here or on our Facebook page.

Do have a dignified rest of the day!

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