How To Be The Best Version Of You

There are two quotes that I absolutely love; so much so that both are on my personal Facebook profile. That says a lot about the importance they hold as guiding principles for me. First time visitors and stalkers to my profile have a clear understanding, I hope, of who I am and what drives me.

“To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty.

To find the best in others; to give one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exaltation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded.” Emerson

"To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common. this is my symphony."William Ellery Channing

Those are the two quotes. The first is an adaptation of Bessie Stanley's words by Ralph Waldo Emerson. I came across it 'late' in life, while employed in the criminal justice system here in Canada. At a crossroad, unsure what was truly important to me and what is real success, these words literally jumped out from the pages of a book that I was reading.

When something resonates and has great significance for you, it feels like nothing else ever did. Reading these words - the simplicity and profundity of them moved me emotionally and spiritually. They made what I did next meaningful. I resigned my job and pursued my heart's calling. Was it easy? No. Did I make mistakes along the way? Many.

The second quote relates more directly to today's Breaking Loose Challenge question: "Is This The Best Version Of You?" It ties in very nicely with the first as if you define success along the lines of the Stanley/Emerson words, if you live your life composing your own symphony - then that is as close as you can get to being the best you.

In my experience and without any self-praise intended, it takes steel guts, resolve and a strong sense of humour to be the best version of you. What do I mean by that? Here are three essentials of growing into that You:

• Critical self-assessment. This requires such brutual honesty with yourself. I had the help of my "fish bowl," my chaplaincy reflection room, to help me start the process. All the stories you were told, the ones you bought wholesale along with the stories you authored have to be reviewed, edited and rescripted if they cause even an ounce of dis-ease, feeling of unworthiness, sense of lack and/or low self-image. The tools I used and continue to use until this day as this is not a one time process are writing and my mirror.

• Values List. What are those characteristics, life principles, ways of being in the world that you highly value? Parroting what your religious or spiritual affiliation taught you does not equate to YOUR values list. Here, again writing is an important to but I also used collages of images and words that stirred me from the depth of my being.
  
  

"Must Be" Index. Left with a newly revised story (and I formally review my story at least a year usually New Year's Eve) and my Values List, I then create bullet indexes for the important-to me aspects of my life. So, for example, under my "Professional Life" heading my bullet points include: community-focussed, educational, life-changing, living wages.

What is crucial to understand is that this is not a one time deal but an all-time way of being. I find that this "examined life" is both challenging and sweet! Even this morning, after waking up from a near sleepless night, I got up and went straight to my mirror, coffee in hand of course, and had a chat with the increasingly best version of Claudette.

Want to try some of these tools and methods to check in with yourself, to measure your understanding of success and to pinpoint which You you are currently being? Drop me a line here or visit my coaching page and let us continue the conversation.

Have your own strategies? Why not share a few with other readers? Either way, have your best day and life ever!

Namaste.