"You good for nothing piece of ****!"
"What you good for, eh, you are useless!"
"You and your no good father wreck my life!"
Those are some of the more tame affirmations, that I have tried to put in proper English, that I heard for most of my childhood.
No one taught me how to Scrub, Drop and/or Bolt so I took on these mantras, quietly repeated them and was programmed to such an intense degree until age 35.
Around that time, I came into contact with a spiritual organization like none that I had ever encountered before. My previous rendezvous with churches were brief for several reasons - they made me physically uncomfortable, guilty and feeling totally unclean.
Some readers might think that my discomfort was due to my sins. However, as time passed it dawned on me that I was not a worthless piece of ****. What child is deserving of emotional, physical and sexual abuse? Show me the parent who is ordained by whatever power you might affirm with the right to mentally destroy a child?
What service do you offer to a spiritually and physically battered human being by preaching constantly to them, shouting from a pulpit reinforcements that they are the scum of the Earth?
The words that set me on the path of transformation were: " You are a child of the Most High, no matter where you have been and what was done to and by you, and S/He is well pleased!" Those words were spoken to me Bishop John Shelby Spong who I had the pleasure of helping to coordinate his visit to Jamaica. It was during a private conversation, in which I was bawling my eyes out in shame and guilt, that he shared that new affirmation with me.
I never kissed a preacher man before but it is one I will never forget.
From that moment, I started to step differently, deliberately and contemplatively. My writing and speaking were more careful, not always accurate or on point but way more mindful. The minister of this spiritual organization shared a message one week on how we speak into our lives. It was another power-filled moment for me and the crux of today's challenge.
Words are creative. I will not entertain a debate on the subject as it is a proven fact in my life and I therefore do not have to argue it.
Yet, by themselves words are not as potent as you might have been led to believe up to now. What my years of trial and error taught me is that it is the feeling attached to the words that gives them their heat.
People have accused me of being cold because I refuse to boil my words with unnecessary emotions. Most certainly I have cooked up some less than desirous and disastrous recipes of experience because I allowed my emotions to drive me to some colourful words.
"I am ...," are two words that can pack a punch, particularly if you carelessly attach words and emotions to them. As I was learning to deprogramme myself and break loose of my mother's many damning words to me that I absorbed and made my own, I was and remain mindful of what follows "I am" when I speak.
"I am a child of The Universe.""I am blessed and I am a blessing.""I am love."
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| Claudette |
Remember, your feelings matter! So please do not be misguided and play into the folly that claims that making such "I am" statements without feeling and believing what you are saying is true and/or possible. I did that in the past and made statements such as "I am rich," and guess what? Bankruptcy followed. You cannot fool yourself but you can most certainly speak your truth into your life!
By the end of the day, review your "I am" statements and see which ones were most easy for you to make, most believable and which ones you know will break you loose from mental bondage.
Be blessed and be a blessing! Do comment here or share your thoughts with me on Facebook.
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