Relationship: Waiting For The Right Wrong One

Many times.

Too many times to count in fact and willing, although very hesitant, to do it again.

That would be my answer to the question "Have you ever loved the wrong person?"

Andrew Boyd, author of "Beautiful Trouble," says it best and so I liberally quote him:

"We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. 

Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, 'This is the problem I want to have'. 

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way. 

Let our scars fall in love."

Next time I post a profile on a dating site, that is what I will use as my headline: "Seeking The Right Wrong Person." It probably would be one of the most honest statements I would have ever made about my love life - a long pursuit and entanglements with the wrong persons.

The gift, and there is always one if you are willing to unpack it, is that every "wrong" lover has brought me healing to an aspect of my wounded being/soul.

With every chunk that someone has taken off my heart, they rewarded me with a deeper understanding of who I am meant to be in the world and in relationships.

Earlier in my journey and after "the great heartbreak" almost eight years to date now, bitterness and fear were the emotions that controlled me. I swore never to love again out of fear and bitterness ensured that I did not.

More wrong people would enter my life and with each ending they carted away my bitterness, my regret, my pain and most of all the fear. No, I am not anxious to commit to another wrong person. Instead, I pass time with distractions while I await "The Right Wrong One."

What about you? Have you met the one whose scars match yours yet?

Share your story with us here or on our Facebook page. You never know what pointers you might reveal to one of us wrong ones!

Namaste