Your Expectations Are Running Your Life!

My daughter was about 10 years old when I first gave her this book. Her puzzled look is one that will always remain with me. "Have you gone fully nuts Mommy?" was clearly the question asked in that almost crossed-eyed stare.

Abigail was not the only one who thought I had just about lost what little sanity remaining with me. Who could blame me anyway if I had? My and her life had gone through so much ups, downs and turnarounds by that point, our collective head was in a constant twirl!

She laid the book aside atop the journal that was also gifted to her by me. My instruction was that she should read the book and write daily affirmations. Who tells a 10 year old to read a book that has challenged scholars, scientists, pastors and thousands of others with its density of words and thought-provoking perspectives?

Catherine Ponder's "Dynamic Laws of Prayer" was my second read from her collection. I was desperate for things to change in my life, for money to start flowing to me like the River Jordan and for my family life to heal. When the teachings of "Dynamic Laws of Prosperity" 'failed' me, as prosperous was not what I was feeling, I turned to prayer.

What I failed to realise was that for all my affirming and praying, my true expectations were my blockage.

That lesson would take another 10 years to sink in. Meanwhile, I wanted my daughter to join in the West Cave 77 prayer group and she did - for about two days.

Accepting that it was all up to me - Part One of my lesson - I refocused, not immediately and not before further falling into a financial rut, migration, sinking further into both a monetary and emotional despair.

Reaching upwards to raise myself from the bottom of the pit, I started reading more scientific articles, books and papers. YouTube became my "church" as most of my Sundays were spent there scouring for information on quantum theory and physics, The Big Bang (not the television series which I love very much), the hyper connectivity of our world and mind-body-spirit explanations that went way beyond the Trinity.

I have a very inquisitive mind, always questioning, never accepting any one thought as the be all and end all. This had gotten me in lots of trouble with my mother and had lost me several friends, even up to this day, as I will not accept fundamentalism of any sort.

As I searched for a way "up" from the floor of my despair, through the myriad of sources one thing seemed to continually reappear - thoughts are creative. With my questioning self, I thought about this and it struck me that despite the attempt to dismiss this as "new ageism," it was an old truth.

Jesus:
"Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him." Mark 11:23 ESV

There could be no more clear guidance on expectations and doubt than this. What you expect to happen will. In the medical/scientific circles, this is demonstrated and termed "the placebo effect." Patients with the same illness given the real deal and "placebo" pills expecting it to cure them - will get the same result - healing!

It is your mind, silly and "it's worth taking stock of how often our imagination, our expectations and assumptions, bleed into reality and actually change experience or change our bodies. This isn't about denying, disguising, or not seeing what's true, it's about the cases when truth may be malleable," wrote Gareth Cook on the subject. 

Soon after giving my daughter that Ponder book, she was out playing one day with a neighbour. Horse playing would be more like it. They both had a tumble and the other child broke her shoulder and my daughter hurt her hip. Since my daughter was the horse whose back the other kid fell off, we had to pay thousands of dollars for treatment. Luckily, Jamaica was not a litigious society so we were not sued.

We had no money to take Abigail to the doctor, so I gave her my own brand of "placebo" pills - affirmations of wellbeing and positive thinking wrapped in hot/cold compresses and painkillers. By the next day, she forgot about the aching swollen hip and was out swagging again.

I am in no way suggesting that you treat any injury or medical issues in this manner. This is merely an example of the many that I could offer where healing, favourable outcome, doors opening, etc occurred because it was expected, no other option was harboured or contemplated.

The challenge that you and most certainly I often face is when something unfavourable occurs and we are sure that there is no way under the sun we expected that! But are we really sure?

"Guard your heart will all diligence as from it flows the issues of life." That is another of my often repeated and favourite quotes. When "whatever" turns up in my life, and I pay particular attention to the unwanted, that is signal for me to check the recesses of my heart. There in the dark corners lie all my:

• Petty resentments
• Secret grudges
• Baby green monsters (jealousy)

and all the feelings that I would like to disown.

Thing is, until you own and heal them, a daily task, they sprout and shoot arrows of negative expectations. They are so tiny and obscure you hardly see them zooming by.

• "Who does she think she is wearing that?" You think looking at your friend's Facebook profile.
• "How can he buy that car when they only last year filed for bankruptcy?" You question.
• "What qualifies her to give advice when I have six degrees?" You ponder about this blog
• "His nose is so big!" You laugh as single you describe your girlfriend's new boyfriend.

Time passes and:

1. Ulcers turn up
2. A wardrobe malfunction happens at your Christmas party
3. Redundancy happens
4. You are still single

all arising from those invisible negativity you focussed on, those dark expectations you harboured.

Here are the final points of the lesson I had to learn:

1. You get what you expect even when your words or thoughts are focussed on someone else's life.
2. Every word and thought is an expectation when powered by emotion. The result will be an equal match to the emotion.
3. Whatever you look for you will find.

Physicists put it this way:

1. "Nothing exists unless and until observed."
2. "The human consciousness shapes the present."
3. "What the Bleep do we know?!"

Namaste

Did you read yesterday's essay on a Diamond Life?