What To Do When People Disappear

Searched high and low to find an image of this pen. Just as I searched 40 years ago to find the one that disappeared.

Never found that multi-cartridge pen that my uncle brought back from his stint in the United States. Just as I could not find an imagine of it today on the WorldWide Web.

What has not disappeared is the memory of it or the "back siding" my mother gave me.

I was warned not to take the pen to school but which child would listen to that when they possessed the very thing that could make them the centre of attraction?

When I discovered that it had disappeared, I searched every crevice along the paths I had taken that day. Not finding it and knowing the hell and powder house that was going to occur when my mother found out, I ran away. Well not quite. I hightailed to my father's family house, a place that I might have visited twice before. That is another story, my infrequent visits to the Esterines.

As night fell, my half brother took me home promising to plead on my behalf. We held high hopes that his pleas would soften my mother's hardening heart as he had done so before. That too is another story.

He failed and I was severely whipped and chastised.

In that incident, I learned my first lesson in disappearing possessions. It would pave the way for how I dealt with disappearing people and problem solving for a couple more decades.

"Hang on to things, people, anything that has material and emotional value or are status symbols with your dear life - or get an ass whipping!"

So I hung on! For dear life I gripped:

• Every relationship or friendship even if the other party did not want to relate to me any longer
• Pieces of papers that said I had earned certification, a degree, experience even though I had suffered through the course, job, etc and hated every second

If it disappeared, I would hunt and tie it down so tightly, rathering it dying than allow it to "leave" me. That is exactly what I did when a long-term relationship started dying in its 9th year.

Seven years later when it finally gave up the ghost and up and disappeared - literally and metaphorically - I started to learn the real lesson in disappearing acts.

Let them go.

In Jamaica we have a saying: "What a fi yuh can't be un-fi-yuh." Translation: What is yours is yours.

It would take me six more years to earn my degree in "Goodbye Psychology." My professor, Life, was patient and allowed me to repeat classes and courses, gave me extra lessons and set for me the most rigorous examinations.

I graduated when I was truly ready to let everything, everyone and every situation disappear once they had fulfill their purpose in my life.

Today is my first anniversary at my current place of enjoyment. It is a proud moment for me not because I will receive a fat bonus cheque or something. My pride stems from the fact that this "Enjoyment Employment" is one of the several rewards that my professor, Life, has given to me.

My certification in "Goodbye" means that, finally I was ready to:

1. Work with an organization not for money but for the richness of service
2. Cherish friendships for their heart value rather than popularity ranking
3. Allow my most precious gift, my daughter, to be who she wants to be
4. Love wastefully anyone even those who piss me off
5. Release easily anything and anyone

Now, my remaining class through which I will receive a doctorate in "Goodbye' is in "The Joys of a Fully Free and Totally Unconditional Intimate Relationship."

If you would like to borrow my notes from previous courses or be my study partner in this class on "What a Fi Yuh..." do write to me, visit my page and join my list to get updates.

Be blessed and be ready to accept that what disappears is no longer yours!

Namaste

P. S.: Check out yesterday's essay before you go: "Your Expectations Are Running Your Life!"

 
Some photo source: pinterest.com