Alzheimer's Disease: The Thought Scares Me

Second to an heart that bounces back and expands after every tear, crack, break or smashing, a functioning brain is one of my most cherished gifts from Source.

Ever wonder why the part of the body that is most used for your income generation and/or your passion is the one first to go? 

I have.

Take a girlfriend of mine - a most gifted and celebrated Jamaican photographer. About 20 years ago, as her career was setting to take off to heights she was yet to experience, her eyes, the very tools that made her work so precise and insightful (no pun intended) started to fail her. We were all panicked; she tried to remain stoic and confident that Source would not be so cruel.

She was right. Today, I watch from the sidelines (our friendship drifted) as her career soars well beyond what any of us could have then imagined. Her eyesight seems to be fine.

• The pianist who develops arthritis in his fingers.
• Sprinters whose back or legs give out.
• Me, whose memory and brain's ability fades and get jumbled.

My daughter protests each time I instruct her to take me out back and shoot me should that happen. I do hope I will find someone who will and this will be a living testament of my request.

Illnesses and diseases are not things that I ponder or dwell on. Some think that I am cold because I refuse to engage or join a pity party on these topics. Neither is true. My belief, one that I have oft repeated on this blog, is that we get what we seek, eventually. Therefore, I prefer to seek love, wellbeing and peace.

Yet, I also get it that the human body was not meant to last forever. Death is not my enemy. However, the dementia associated with Alzheimer's disease is not the way I would like to leave this Earth plane.

What brought this on?

Yesterday, my boss was virtually in tears as I stepped into her office to share an important bit of information with her. I did not immediately see her upset only recognising it when her cracked voice responded to my "Do you have a minute," with a "Can we do this tomorrow?"

Without getting into too much detail, here is a woman, a friend, a blessed soul who has been guardian, Chief supporter and Advocate for her childhood friend who a few years ago was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

The story admittedly scares me as I see myself in it - as the one who at the prime of her life, firing on the full cylinder of her intellect and boom...loses it.

Memory loss due to Alzheimer's is one of the many accompanying ailments. The Alzheimer's Association's website states: "Alzheimer's is a type of dementia that causes problems with memory, thinking and behavior. Symptoms usually develop slowly and get worse over time, becoming severe enough to interfere with daily tasks."

Not meaning to make light of it but some may say my behaviour is already problematic. Add a medical complication to it and "Houston, we've got a [real] problem!"

Very few things scare me and this would be on the list.

As my boss dashed out to be with her friend who often forgets who she is, I said a little prayer - for my boss that she continues to have the strength to journey with one who clearly needs the support.

I said a prayer for the friend that in the midst of her "blankness," The Comforter is there. I prayed that when she reconnects with the memory of a past she lived that they are sweet.

My final prayer yesterday as I stood in the corridor outside my boss' door was for me.

"Dear Source, if it is Your will and Alzheimer's is my exit door, I know that there will be a lesson for me to learn. I pray that I may be so blessed to have a caregiver or two, to lead me through. May I not be a burden and may Your Grace fall gently on their hearts that they have the strength to be by my side. If or until that day comes, may I always remember to be love, to be grateful and fill my walk with precious moments to sweeten my blank days. Amen."

Claudette

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Some photos from: pinterest.com