Are We Born Resilent?

"What doesn't  kill you make you stronger"

Last year, my family and I observed the 17th anniversary of my Mother's transition. As my brother and I reminisced, my question to him was whether there is any one thing in particular about our late mother that still resonates with him.Without hesitation, he said, "Her resilience."

That was my exact thought.

We all experience adversities, from every day changes and challenges to serious losses. My belief is that these experiences are part of God's plan for us, we are armed with the ability to adapt and regroup through our challenges.

This belief led me to the question whether we have to learn resiliency as we would craft making? Or are we naturally resilient and it lies latent until we need it?

Another of my brothers, Ivan, who is now deceased, always claimed that it was resilience that took over after he was viciously attacked in the line of duty.  He was a police officer at the time and by his account, the attack in a deeply wooded area and him being able to direct his rescuer to his location, pointed to a presence of mind that he did not know he possessed. Ivan was able to coherently dialogue with his rescuer for the 26 mile journey, maintaining conciousness all the way over trecherous rural roads to the hospital.   

My brother would live for 33 more years, after enduring months of treatment and rehabilitation, to tell his story.

This story has often caused me to also wonder whether resilience and faith are synonymous?

Some psychologists have argued that faith is resilience's silent companion. Evidence of this, if one may call it that, is one person's belief remaining intact after a catastrophic event, while another person's is destroyed. Some use "faith" and "resilience" interchangeably. My opinion is that they are different.

 "Faith is the capacity of the heart that allows us to draw close to the present and find there is the underlying thread connecting the moment's experience to the fabric of all of life. It opens us to a bigger sense of who we are and what we are capable of doing" Susan Salburg

In the midst of an awful situation, we are sometimes tempted to see only the dark side.  Many of us are unable see how a bad situation may help us grow or broaden our view and opinions. For the impatient ones like me, faith requires a strong dose of discipline. When confronted by a challenge, I find that I have to pause, step away and try to make the connection between my faith and my resolve to climb out of the ditch and chart a new course of action.  

Resilience, to me, is a continuous rebuilding, re-branding and re-launching process. It is one that can strengthen our resolve and give you the energy to scrap an original idea or way of doing things without any or too many regrets.

I saw this demonstrated for most of my life by my mother. Ivan was my second study in resilience. Only 23,  newly wed and in line for a promotion when he was attacked.  Asked how he coped throughout the treatment and rehabilitation as he had lost an arm in the attack, he was quick to point out that, as a born-again Christian, God and his faith kept him going. 

In my view, faith is what gets you up and resilience is what keeps you moving. That was my experience and witness in my mother's life and through my brother's rehabilitation and 33 years of living after the attack.

What are your thoughts? Are faith and resilience one and the same or partners? 

Share with me here, as well be sure to visit Claudette's page for more tips and suggestions on this and other topics. 

Have a strong rest of the day!


Clara Brown is an Insurance Executive living in Kingston, Jamaica with her family. She is a dear friend, member of DOS Foundation and a regular contributor to this blog.