Yesterday, after spending the morning hosting a class on "Drama," my evening turned into one.
Well almost.
The leading actress was a member of my team, who for some time now has harboured the notion that I wanted a part in her production.
Trying to maintain peace on my team, for months now I have tried to manage her interruptions, tantrums, late night text messages and gossiping.
I had enough yesterday. My diplomacy and patience ran out. After she unceremoniously interrupted a conversation that I was having with another team member, I invited her to a private meeting room.
Initially her attitude was one of attack; suggesting that she would go over my head and lodge a complaint that she was not being given the regard she deserves. My responses was, "Please go right ahead."
Thing is, I am not afraid of:
- Anyone
- Being unemployed
- Being broke as a result of unemployment
- Being alone
Every one of these circumstances I have experienced and I have long learned that there is only One Power in this Universe and that Power is not human.
I have also learned how to set boundaries.
Raised as the only child of a dysfunctional single mother, boundaries were something never practiced or demonstrated in my world. Being the target of childhood and adolescent sexual abuse by multiple perpetrators compounded my lack of fence building.
Like drama, climbing over people's "walls" was my way of being and, as I had none, people had no trouble getting into my deepest space.
Until 2007.
That was the year, when on the floor of a psychologist's office, my familiarisation began with boundaries. Using coloured wool, she taught me how to differentiate Me from others, what was my space (physical and spiritual), my responsibilities and my obligations to myself.
The most challenging and the most profound lessons require lots of practice. Boundaries proved to be in that category. It would take close to five years before I could truly say that not only did I get it but was actively practicing boundary setting and maintenance.
My daughter and my relationship was the last bastion and training ground. There also laid my sweetest reward - a healthy, open and total unconditional loving relationship.
Last evening, that was the message I shared with my team member. My suggestion to her was that she ought to consider the true nature of our relationship, how I have been operating in that relationship and learn to respect my boundaries as I have respected hers.
Some people you have to spell it out for them and spelling was one of my strengths in school.
Is there someone in your life needing a session in building fences? Are you the one overstepping other people's fences/boundaries? Then, let us have a chat here or on my page. You can also email me. There is no charge for any of this.
Be blessed and have a great rest of the day on the job site!
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