Answering The Call

Mother Teresa had a saying that “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”

Since I've become conscious about my be-ing and even more intentional about my doing, this has been a guiding principle for my living.

I read where people have these great relationships with parents and I am totally happy for them. I was not that fortunate. The lesson I learned from my own experience is that I will do small things with great love for my child and now my grandchild.

Sometimes, it will be money or a gift of something they really need or just because. Most times it is a smile, spending time with my daughter doing girl stuff or just chatting s***. Other times, I am babysitting Mahalia and telling her stories about how she can be anything she wants to be, nobody's permission needed. She looks at me and gives me a toothless smile but her eyes hold mine and says, "Got it, crazy lady!"

I never wanted stuff from my parents or their families. I never got it anyway. The thing I wanted most was love - to be loved. I never got that either. Words were said but the actions never matched it. The actions were always "give me something and I will love you back."

Now, a few weeks from 50 years old (why am I not ashamed or embarrassed to publicize my age???) I am promising to do even more small things with great love not because the recipient deserves it or can reward me but because it is who I have become. It is my calling.

As a believer in "like attracting like," I have seen this actively operating in my life, I know that Love will grow not through hating on people, judging, comparing or discriminating. I give only what I am.

The Greater I AM is my Source and It is Love.

I have "lost" friends along the way but I know there is no loss in this Universe. We all have our paths. Mine is Love. Words are not enough for me, I heard enough in my 50 years.

When I am being loving towards people, not necessarily or primarily in an intimate, outwardly demonstrative or giving them tangible things, I am my happiest. My giving and therefore my loving tend to be of myself - my care, concern, support, time and lastly money. That is exactly the order of priority.

Some find their calling easily, they were literally born knowing what it was. Then there are those who like me came to it after much confusion, stumbling and even struggle.

I looked for love, hoped for it, chased it and almost committed suicide because I thought I lost it. All the time it was standing there beckoning to me, quietly calling me to let it flow.

Only when I did, my sharing became more meaningful and the rancour and bitterness disappeared. My calling is to tell stories, short and small stories and to do small things with and from love only.

Asked why I do what I do, why do I share so much and so publicly - well, it is my calling. I feel alive, time passes, the invisible dots connect and the words flow from me when I write. I arise each morning around 3:00, not necessarily getting up but knowing only in that moment what the day's focus will be. Invariably and in more recent months, Love is clearly the undertone, the ink that make the connections.

The more I follow my calling, the more friends I have lost. I am not sure why but I am not overly bothered by it. That is the 'price' one pays when you deliberately do what you are called to do. Those with whom you no longer share the same dark pit because you have stepped into the light of your true name will be mad at you. They no longer recognize or are comfortable with your differentness.

It can get lonely, you miss the chitchat, however as you step further and deeper into your calling, new companions come along.

Would you stay true to you and be who you are called to be, it is not a great price? Have you heard, felt, or have been led to your calling yet?

Have you heeded the call? Share your story with me.