Another Look At Frugality

It was still fairly early but sleep would not leave me alone. Then my phone rang. My daughter was returning my earlier call to her but I was neither in the mood or focussed enough to get into our usually long conversations.

She might have been put off a bit by my curtness. Imagine how she will be when she reads that I would receive another phone call and I chatted for close to an hour.

Well, in all fairness, I talked way less than I listened and I was very open to the caller and advised him of my state of sleepiness.

At some point in the conversation, the topic shifted to the current world oil prices and its impact on Alberta. Then we moved to his long working hours, demands of his high pressure job and the effect on him being able to cultivate relationships and his personal finances.

I was not interviewing him for this article but those who know me will confirm that I have an inquisitive mind, keen ears and an ability to connect the dots. Reading between the lines of this conversation, I asked why did his last long term relationship really end?

Money.

According to him, his ex was a fine business woman who made some fatal financial decisions and lost everything. Well, everything material. She came to a cross road where she had two choices:

A.  Start over from scratch with nothing

B.  Find a sugar daddy

She went for option B.

My caller was choked and it took him a couple years to "get over" the break up. In the end, what started out as terribly painful turned into a blessing for him as he restarted his life, got promoted on his job and now earns way more money than he did previous to the break up.

Was the ex girlfriend being financially responsible, entering a new relationship solely for monetary reasons? I will not be the judge of that. Frankly, neither should you. We all make choices and they are usually based on one or a combination of the following: 

1. Our Fears
2. Our Core Values 
3. The Information at hand 
4. Our Alignment or lack thereof

Having been bankrupt myself, I fully understand being enticed by the offer of a Sugar Daddy or Mama. If I could start over in comfort and style, then why not?

I had no sugar anything when my time came. Truthfully, even if I did, my audacity, mouth and general attitude would not be inviting to a Sugar Daddy as I invariably buck human authority.

Instead, I chose option A - start over with nothing but a lesson well learned.

I have very few very close friends. Most of them are women. Every friend bring a different dimension to my relationship with them. There is one that I share my sexual fantasies with and vice versa. Another shares my spiritual outlook in many ways so our conversations are most often underpinned by such thoughts. Then there is my cousin who holds my deepest and darkest secrets that I am yet to disclose on Facebook! Lol. I have some of hers as well so we are even.

One woman-friend and I share a bit of all of these but we are even more connected on financial issues. We are open with each other about the current status of our bank accounts and our income streams and how we intend to increase both. This friend and I discuss our latest bargain finds, whatever financial challenge we might be facing and we pray together and for each other's financial abundance.

We do not pretend with each other and we do not spend our money thoughtlessly. We are frugal and,  without discussing it directly give each other permission, so to speak, to be so. We are most definitely not ashamed of our lives and the fact that we both had to start over mid way.

Through that relationship combined with my moral compass, my spiritual values and my sense of self, my level of frugality or financial responsibility is both easy and fulfilling. Living within my needs and means, always knowing that whatever I desire can and will be met and leading a relatively simple life are my essentials.

Anyone can start over, set the course of their finances on a responsible footing without having to declare bankruptcy first. There is no Sugar Daddy for everyone and not everyone needs or wants one.

If you are growing through or on the path,  knowingly or unknowingly, to a financial meltdown please do not wait to seek expert advice. As well, do not discount the value of spiritual support and reevaluation. Always feel free to email me or check out my pages for inspiring posts and practical advice.

Namaste