My Bestfriend Gave Me The Best Advice

Claudette Esterine - Founder

Daughters of Sheba started as a private Facebook group back in 2010. Over the years, we have evolved and downsized. One thing that has not changed, however, is our straight talk.

The Group started with about 40 women. Men were never included as we always wanted a private space for "big woman talk." Today, with 16 members, myself included, DOS as we fondly call ourselves remain a women's only and secret group. Even with the soft launch of the DOS Foundation, nothing has changed about the intimacy of the core Group.

Some of the best advice I have personally received and in some instances given, came from the Sistahs of DOS.

Over the last few months, some of those advice have been shared through this blog. Today, I will highlight a few.

Best Advice from my girlfriends (and I) on:

"The Poverty of Things"

"Excelling did not mean having cars, a huge house, acres of land as Maas Joe and Miss Daisy. To us, ‘things’ meant enough to provide fuel for the journey along the road to achievement of our life-long ambitions.  Our mother never put us under any pressure to do our school work.  Her repeated chant was instead, ”Pickney, work hard because mi nuh have no legacy fi lef give oonu."  Another perspective on ‘things’. We learnt from an early age that we can only count the cows in our backyard, not anybody else’s." Clara Brown


"Having His Baby..."

"Certain it was an inaccurate reading, statistics have proven that many EPT's are, back to the store I went. This trip, to make certain doubly sure, I purchased one…no - two…okay - three  more tests. Results: all positive." Karen Jeanette


"Murdering Your Boss"

"New research studies show that stress at work can kill you! Literally or could lead you to kill someone!!! The stress may be due to the demands of the job itself but, often the stress resides in a troubled relationship with your boss.  In my case, it was evident in a strong negative, almost physical repulsion I had to my new boss.  In his presence (and even at the thought of him), I had a visceral reaction that signaled an emotional ‘dis-stress', evident in my unusual excessive use of expletives and feeling physically troubled and frustrated." Janice Chang

"The Taming..."

"My first husband loved the feel of his hands. He especially loved how they felt on me. The last beating I received from him landed me in an emergency room in a foreign land. It was the last time a man or anyone for that matter would lay a hand on me." Claudette Esterine

These are but few of the best advice from the ladies at DOS. Browse through our archive for more on a variety of topics. 

If you would like to share some advice with us and our readers, on any topic, drop je a line. We would love if you would also *Like* our Facebook page and follow us on Twitter.

Enjoy the rest of the best day of your life!

Namaste

When Is Not The Perfect Time To Murder Your Boss?

Janice Chang - Guest Author

New research studies show that stress at work can kill you! Literally or could lead you to kill someone!!!

The stress may be due to the demands of the job itself but, often the stress resides in a troubled relationship with your boss.  

In my case, it was evident in a strong negative, almost physical repulsion I had to my new boss.  In his presence (and even at the thought of him), I had a visceral reaction that signaled an emotional ‘dis-stress', evident in my unusual excessive use of expletives and feeling physically troubled and frustrated. 

Sometimes, I was brought to the point of tears (but NEVER in front of him).  I was taking many “mental health” days, as I just could not bear to face the job and him, strongly fearing I may “lose it” and commit homicide.

I have always felt that the work I do was more than just a job.  It is a vocation – defined as “a strong feeling of suitability for a particular career or occupation” or “a divine call to God's service or to the Christian/spiritual life." So this stress-riddled situation was particularly unsettling for me and needed exploration (on a spiritual level) and a workable life solution (preferably, not including homicide). 

My concern was really what could account for such a strong negative reaction?  Did I need stress management intervention?

My spirit just was not “taking to” him! So what could I do?  I had always prayed for God to be very clear and precise in His communications with me, as “I do not take hints” and certainly do not read “between the lines” very well.  Black-and-white communications for me!!  One of the answers to my soul-searching was that I had become complacent… I had lost my “zeal for good works” and have forgotten my own dreams!  I had ‘settled’ into the so-called “American Dream," where one works to support consumption.

“The labor of the American worker has provided all of us with the standard of living we enjoy today. It enables us to buy all the things which are considered necessary to live a happy, fulfilling life.  …if we want society to continue, we must all be prepared to make certain sacrifices and a job is one of them.  Work may be unpleasant, then, but it is absolutely essential. If people wanted to get rid of it, they would have to change everything and create a completely different kind of world.”- I Believe in Work Campaign of San Fransisco; Crowley, Dauer & Alioto

My Inner Spirit was telling me that my boss and I were not on the same spiritual path, so we should not be striving after the same things.  Materialism was not my destiny.  This reassessment and realization called for immediate review and action.  What were the forgotten dreams, the sidelined desires of my heart?  

In a previous life, I had let go of so many of my desires and had virtually painted myself into the proverbial corner.  This was not a path I was willing to walk down again.  I was not going to be the old woman always talking about what I could have been, what I could have done or what I always wanted to have accomplished but did not!  I was willing to “change everything and create a completely different kind of world” for me.

In that moment of decision, I escaped a life sentence. Instead of murdering my boss, I am working to realize some of my dreams in a tropical setting, although not in my first choice of paradise - Samoa!

Are you dealing with work related stress? Have you taken any steps to eliminate stress from your life? Do you like orange? 

If you have answered yes, no and no, then it is time to talk with a professional and/or a spiritual resource person for help in reducing stress in your life. We are happy to support you as best as we can so contact us by email, leave a comment here or on our Facebook page. You can also follow us on Twitter.

Do something today as orange really is not the new black.

Source: Katherine Crowley & Kathi Elster

 
Janice Chang is a medical doctor and lives in Michigan with her husband.