Women? Fight Against Each Other? No...

Claudette Esterine

The idea that women “fight against” each other is such an ancient one that it has become somewhat like a law of life or rules of the game, so to speak. I am not sure where it has its roots or whether it is a mythical or psychological tale that someone spun many years ago that we have managed to perpetuate.

One thing that I know for sure is that this pattern of behavior: backstabbing, pulling at each other’s skirt tails, attempting to drag a Sistah off the proverbial ladder has marred and scarred so many of us. In my own experience, women were never considered to be my friends for a very long time but someone to compete with for limited resources. Whether it was the affection of a man or a coveted promotion, I practised and mastered (I hate to admit) the art of “women being our own worst enemies.”

A demure woman was the first to begin tutoring me to change my attitude. She reminded me that all my behaviour towards another is a reflection of, not their, but my demons.

Really?

Yes, really and as the years went by and the lessons deepened and expanded I began to understand the truth of this lesson. Learning to love myself, to erase as best as I could the recording of the most significant woman in my life, my mother, putting me down, my wings grew and my heart expanded.

Today, as I prepare to take on the mantle of Matriarch of my family, I know that some of the most important lessons that must be passed on to my granddaughter:

1. Self-love and self-respect
2. Cooperation over competition
3. Truth and honour above all else

What about you? What will be your legacy? What story will you be telling of woman- and sister-hood.

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Namaste.