Head or Gut? Where Do You Decide?

Using one's judgment is imperative, important and even invaluable. For business, personal and interpersonal matters, being able to examine a situation and determining the value, cost, risks, etc that might be involved could prove money and life saving.

The challenge arises when judgment is clouded, skewed or biased due to longheld beliefs, practices, attitudes and views that are no longer relevant in a rapidly changing world.

Always attempting to walk the "in between," my practice is to restrict or reduce the frequency of my decisions made by judging a situation solely on my prejudices, let us say.

Case in point: I like tall men. As an on-off user of online dating sites, my profiles clearly state this preference. In some cases where the app allows, if a man is below a certain height, he cannot message me. The result has been:

1. I have eliminated a slew of eligible on all other counts men
2. I have ended up dating some tall jerks

My daughter in particular has scolded, then laughed at me regarding this practice. "How many tall a**h**** will you have to date for you to stop doing that?" She asked me only a couple months ago.

That is where discernment comes in. The dictionary consulted for a definition offers this one: "The ability to see and understand people, things, or situations clearly and intelligently."  I would go further and state that discernment involves being able to sense the unspoken and seeing what is invisible to the naked eyes.

This is an ability we all have but hardly use in some cases, undertrained in others and totally ignored by many when what is before us does not match the criteria of our 'judgments'.

Here is an example of how my judging and my ability to discern situations and people worked for and against me:

Trying to secure a more independent lifestyle for myself and support my daughter in creating one for herself, I entered into a business arrangement with an individual. My gut was telling me that there was something not upfront about this person but I ignored it. Focussed only on my daughter's and my own interests, I sunk thousands and thousands of dollars into the business. As I waited for this business partner to come through with her portion, as well as fulfill her obligations to the startup, my pockets bled. The business plan was solid but the execution was poor. I should have retrenched and reorganised earlier but did not. In the end, the business failed and I lost everything material that I possessed, including my house.

My judgment of the market and business potential needed revising and I failed to do that soon enough. Every spider nerve in my body was tingling, warning me of the potential pitfalls with the so-called business partner but I ignored them, foolishly hoping she would come through or something else would.

Together judgment and discernment can be a formidable team. Separately, they both serve a purpose. However, check the lenses that you are passing judgment through. As well, pay attention to that feeling in your gut.

The "in between" place can be uncomfortable, causing one to resort to old and familiar behaviours and judgment. Why not rest there awhile and allow your vision to clear?

As for me and kissing tall frogs, I deleted my profile and hanging out under a shady tree listening to my gut.

Be sure to browse the archive for previous posts relating to this Breaking Loose Challenge. Also, visit my facebook page for more tips on how to free yourself and live as you want.

Namaste

A Woman's Intuition: Mystery or Myth

Clara Brown

If a woman asks you a question, it's better to tell her the truth because chances are she's asking you because she already knows the answer."

Albert Einstein said "The only real valuable thing is intuition."  Intuition or sixth sense is something many of us rely on for quick judgments and often life-altering decisions.  A report of study in Britain's Journal of Psychology (2008) defined intuition as what happens when the brain draws on past experiences and external cues to make a decision but it happens so fast that the reaction is at an unconscious level.

"A woman knows by intuition or instinct what is best for her"self- Marilyn Monroe

Research has upheld the view that a woman's intuition is more fact than foolery.  Theories have suggested that women have an enhanced ability at reading facial expression and emotions. We are much more likely to pick up on subtle cues and read tone of voice and body language much better than men.

Image: themindonpages.wordpress.com

Recently, a few of us girls were engaged in one of our "Help Me Sister On-line" discussions. After minutes of worthwhile banter, laughter, food-for-thought advices and solutions geared at resolving the problems, the Champion Sister then  said, "On another note, how are you all doing otherwise? Is every thing OK?" I found it strange that she should have asked such a question after we seemingly had already thrashed the problems brought to the discussion.

Really taken aback and I waited to see what the responses of the other Sisters would be.  Alas, to my surprise, another Sister brought up a problem she was having with her child. We delved into that with our usual vigor.  However, I could not get over the experience and later asked the Champion Sister how she knew they was at least one other un-aired problem.  She responded that she sensed there was something wrong. I frivolously remarked, "You must be clairvoyant!"

Could this be attributed to the power of a woman's intuition? We were online, no two of us in the same room; no body language to observe.  There was no emotional display outside of the issue we were first discussing. So what would have driven our Champion Sister to ask that "how are things otherwise" question?

I submit - Woman's Intuition.

Image: dailyplateofcrazy.com

Have you ever had the feeling that you should carry out a particular action, one that felt as if your life depended on it? Alan Alda said, "You have to leave the city of comfort and go into the wilderness on intuition.  What you will discover will be wonderful.  What you'll discover is yourself"

There are countless stories from persons whose lives have been altered significantly because they followed their gut-feeling or intuition.  Our intuition offers us power that is a lot more subtle.  Many have downgraded it to sixth sense but it is more powerful than that. What else can explain the way we feel and how we interpret things men just cannot seem to understand.  What explains the raw gut feeling we get when we know something is wrong?

I am sure it is that magical force called intuition that tells you something is not right before any signs even appear. It is a powerful force within us and while many times it is an unwelcome guest, it should always be received and respected as it is a sign that something needs adjustment or just merely to prepare us.

Do you pay attention to your intuition or gut feeling? How much do you rely on it to make those life-altering decisions.  Share your experience with us here, or on our Facebook page.

Have a great rest of the week!