Of the five seasons, I watched three of the critically acclaimed Breaking Bad crime drama. As is my habit with addictive television series, it took me less than a week to do so.
Almost at the end of season three, I gave up. It was just too much for me. Too dark, too many memories of others that I knew who had followed a similar path.
What does one of television's most successful series have to do with soul searching?
Everything. It was about chemistry, the hallucinating methadone and the heights and depth of the human soul. It was about the path that some of us take in our search for meaning.
Years ago, sometime in 2006, as a chaplain in residence at one of Alberta's leading hospitals I advised my supervisors that I wanted to observe a surgery. Up to that point, no other chaplain in training had done this, even though some of the best surgeons in the land operated in this hospital.
An integral component of our training programme was reflection and we were expected to undertake an exercise that would pull us into the deepest level of contemplation possible. At the end of the chosen exercise, each Resident-Chaplain (and there was only three in the programme at any given time) was to write then present a reflection paper. This was the "Summa" of our journey has trainee chaplains - in my case a full two year journey from internship to residency.
It was a two year search for my soul and I hoped to pinpoint its location in that surgical theatre.
The chief surgeon must have been one of my divinely appointed guides as within minutes of my entering the theatre after extensive prepping, he positioned me on a stool right over the patient's head. My vantage point allowed me to see every incision, movement, grip and stitch each and every member of the team made.
I missed nothing except seeing the patient's soul. For eight long hours I stood there; not peeing, not eating yet not feeling queasy, hungry or faint. The instruments opening the chest cavity did not phase me. I did not pass out seeing the heart tenderly removed and placed to the side while ice cubes were packed into where it would later be returned.
My eyes were peeled looking to catch a glimpse of the soul.
Two days it would take me to physically recover from the excitement and exhaustion of that fateful day. Another week for me to process my feelings with my supervisors and fellow chaplains in our fish bowl.
I cried. I was somewhat bewildered after the fact. I felt honoured by what I was given the privilege to witness (the patient's consent was required for me to have participated) and I was humbled.
My search for the soul came to an end with that experience. Finally I knew without a doubt that the innermost part of me and every human being is not to be seen with the naked eyes.
I went looking for the soul but instead felt it.
Our heights and our depths are dependent on that unbreakable, invisible yet ever present connection. You do not have to believe in any specific religious or spiritual path or practice to experience the best frequency.
All that is required is to know that you are connected.
Do you?
Share your feelings with me here or on my coaching page and continue to gave a beautifully connected day!
Claudette is the Founder of Daughters of Sheba Foundation and offers practical spiritual support through her coaching services, social media including Twitter and this blog. She lives in Edmonton, Alberta and is a proud Member of www.TheWellnessUniverse.com
Photo source: pinterest.com
No comments:
Post a Comment