Suspiciously Committed

One of the reasons that I am single four days away from my 50th is commitment.

If you and I have declared that we are in a relationship or even friendship - I am 150% committed to us.

What I have found is that that kind of dedication is suspect. People shy away from someone who will be all of themself plus be there for them wherever, whenever and whatever.

Having been down the aisle a couple, okay a few times, I am shy regarding that public sort of commitment ever again. Frankly, my personal view is that marriage is overrated but who am I to speak, having not been able to stay married!

Let us be clear, it was not due to the lack of commitment on my part. Well, not in all cases. My marriages deteriorated largely due to the failure of both sides to make a commitment first to oneself and allowing that to flow into the relationship.

The greatest commitment we are all called to make is to be true to ourselves, to be loyal to our deepest desires and to always act from that frame of heart.

What happens instead is that we see commitment as an external act, something that we make to others, verbalize to them then do our best to live up to it.

Regular readers know that one of my favourite quotes from the Christian Bible is: "Guard your heart with all your might as from it flow the issues of life." This could not be more true about the way we make commitments.

Those that we make from the head often turn out to be burdens, sacrifices, boring or at the very least empty promises. Commitments made from a healthy, loving "heart space" are passionate, dedicated service driven expressions of who and what we truly are.

Some are far more comfortable operating from the head zone, unaffected by the intricacies of the heart. They avoid commitments that call them to be their highest self, thinking that such acts will put them at a disadvantage. Such persons are those we call players and schemers - their action most often have an exit strategy appended.

Yes, those who make commitments from the heart do so with two understanding:

• This is what they would want for themselves
• This might never be reciprocated

They dedicate themselves to a cause, a company/job, a relationship or friendships not for the returns but for the joy of being a part of something  bigger than themselves or helping to transform someone's life. Such commitment may cost them everything by worldly standards but nothing by their soul growth.

My love life might not change in the near future but what I know for sure is that my commitment to Me deepens every day. Years now I promised myself that if doing something or being with someone does not come from the freeness of my heart and said place is full of song, then I would not.

An Aboriginal Elder once told a class of trainee chaplains that I was a part of that the longest distance a human can travel is the 16 inches between the head and the heart.

Where are you on that trek to Self? From whence are your commitments being made? Share your thoughts on this or any of the topics discussed here or on my personal coaching page.

Be blessed and make some heartical commitments today! 

Claudette, from Jamaica with Mahalia!