Parenting: Does It Really Takes A Village?

"Those helpless bindles of power and promise that come into our world show us our true selves---who we are, who we are not, who we wish to be" Hillary Clinton

Clara Brown

When the then First Lady, Hillary Rodham-Clinton, made reference to the African Proverb "It takes a village to raise a child" in the 1990's, the WOW effect immediately got turned up. Many parents in the United States and around the world seemed to hang on to every word of this age-old proverb.

Surprisingly so for me as this was the very concept I grew up with.

Growing up, my Mother requested every mother/woman in our small district to report any infraction committed by her children. Was this not the village raising us? Indeed it was, as no woman or mother failed to fulfill this request despite the hateful looks subtly sent their way or the muzzled hellos forced from our lips after any such report was made.

My mother, in turn, would scold children in our 'village' who, for example, might have been playing in the rain. Simultaneously, she would offer them shelter in the hopes of preventing them catching a cold and resulting in a doctor's bill. She cared for the village children in other ways as well. Suck-sucks, home-made popsicles, were always set aside for the district children whose parents could not afford to buy them. There were times when we would not be the recipients of these delights although we were dying of thirst. 

My Village: Gibraltar, Jamaica

"Of course, we need children.  Adults need children in their lives to listen and care for, to keep their imagination fresh and their hearts young and to make the future a reality for which they are willing to work" Margaret Mead

As I have shared in a previous post, my formative years were spent in a village environment where the 'villagers' not only embraced this concept but the complimentary one of being their brother's keepers.  It is a natural transition from being a child of the Village to being our brothers' keepers. 

So why did Hillary's parenting tips resonate with so many? 

Was it because there was the renewed call to care or because this concept was new to many? Could it have been that so many were previously caught up securing their own children's wellbeing while ignoring that of other children?

Teach a child to fish

Too often, the best interest of children is seemingly not on the  priority list, domestically or internationally.  This African Proverb teaches truth but in these times, the community is not always what it is supposed to be.  We would all like to think we live in a place where people care about others - where people pitch in to help when things get rough. We all want villages where it is safe to leave the doors unlocked and let the kids play around outside.  This, however, is not always what we experience.  

Instead of community, we find alienation. Looking for safety, we are attacked by crime. Hoping for a better life for our children, we encounter gangs or drugs. The result: People often retreat behind closed and double locked doors and try to ignore their neighbours.

Like it or not, we are living in an interdependent Universe where what our children experience through hearing, seeing, learning or even dreaming about will affect the man or woman they grow up to be.  In many ways, they are leading us away from our claustrophobic villages.  They are much stronger and smarter and with their online access to everything and everybody, their interconnectivity allows them access to villages without borders.  

Children are more than a promise, more than a possibility. They are a great level of potentiality and it does take a village to raise them.

"We cannot live for ourselves alone.  Our lives are connected by a thousand threads and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions are run as causes and return focus as results" Herman Melville

Are you a 'villager' or a prisoner behind the walls of your self-made prison, locking your children away from the world and barring your heart from the village kids?

Share your thoughts or any parenting advice you have for 'successfully' raising children in our emerging world. You may leave a comment here, on our Facebook page and/or follow us on Twitter.

 Clara Brown is an Insurance Executive and lives in St. Andrew,  Jamaica with her spouse and only child, Jared. She is one of our regular Guest Authors.