Let "It" Lead You To Bliss

Have you ever used or heard the voice in your head saying the phrase, "It is what it is?"

I have used it less than heard it and most often when:

• Someone does something very crazy
• The person who I swear hear multiple voices in unison says something bewildering to me
• The guy who I thought might be around for another date disappears
• A panhandler refuses my $1.00
• Someone behaves as if they think my life revolves around theirs
• A very good looking and smart woman hits on me but I am not batting on that team anymore
• I receive less than satisfying customer service
• An overly religious person's self-righteous post slipped onto my timeline because I forgot to block them

As you can see, the phrase echoes in my head pretty often.

What is exactly is "it?" Well, "it" is anything and everything that you could ask or not ask to experience. "It" include those situations that grow or ground you.

It could be your dark night of the soul or "it" could be your Cloud Nine. My experience of "It" has been as varied and as frequent as daily. The most profound lessons that I have learned about "It" in my now almost half century are:

1. It will happen whenever, wherever and to whomever
2. It is best accepted
3. You are better prepared and/or willing to accept It when you align yourself with the source of it - Life
4. It comes and It goes - so never hang on just allow It.

However "It" appears, it can be bliss or lead to bliss if accepted, aligned with and allowed to flow. Joseph Campbell is my "authority" on this particular path and he wrote:

"Follow your bliss. If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while waiting for you,and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss,and they open the doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be.If you follow your bliss, doors will open for you that wouldn't have opened for anyone else.”

Allow and follow It today. Should you need support, feel free to email me. At least pop in and visit my coaching page as well as the DOS Foundation page.

Have fun!

Too C.U.T.E. To Settle

I am one of the crazy ones, a weirdo; a dark skinned Pollyana.

I drank the kool aid of positivity.

I am one of the C.U.T.E. ones.

Waking up every morning, I lie in my bed for as long as possible and tell myself how grateful and blessed I am. My bed is not the most luxurious. My bedroom, in fact my entire house, is sparsely furnished. Yet, my feelings of abundance, prosperity and gratitude is enormous and increase every day.

Married several times and divorced an equal amount of times, I think I will be single for the rest of this journey. Unless they make it legal to marry yourself. See, I am not sure there is another human being in this very vast Universe who can share my journey with me better than I can. Some have attempted, others simply walked away. I am grateful to both as they led me to a deeper relationship with Me.

My current job is no where as demanding, high powered or high browed as some that I have had in the past. Yet, I am so grateful for it. When I returned to Canada, I was very clear about the responsibilities that I was not willing to entertain in a job. Knowing that I wanted to work on DOS Foundation, my coaching endeavours and my writing, I asked for a job that would allow for the kind of work-life balance necessary. Thankfully, I got it.

I am living my best life ever AND it gets better every day! To live any other way would be settling.

1. A house full of furniture and expensive adornments would require hours cleaning and hundreds on insurance. Nope, I would rather sail the high seas!
2. A relationship that requires my undivided attention, mollycoddling, housekeeping services and nightly "entertainment" - Nope, not for me.
3. A job that keeps me in the underbelly, the shadow of society, artificially responsible for the freedom of others - like my last high-paying one - no thank you! Any job that follows me home, filling my mind with politics and increasing my heart rate - Nope, I do not want it or need it.

Mandy Hale is absolutely correct when she wrote, "Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake and help us see we are worth so much more than we're settling for."

It was not one but a series of heartbreaks that finally woke me up. The last one, to the little piece of a heart that I had left, was when I realized that I am C.U.T.E. and have no need or desire to settle.

With less house, less stuff, less work responsibilities, less  (to no) relationship troubles - I have more:

• Me
• Time for things that make my heart sing
• Love

Now, with the blessing of my first grandchild, Mahalia, I am so grateful for having not settled in any way as I also have more caring to give to her, my daughter and the world.

What about you? Have you settled in anyway? Need support in "unsettling" so that you can soar? Send me an email and visit my professional page for tips, suggestions and guides.

Be blessed and free yourself today!









 

A Lesson In Construction: Setting Boundaries

Yesterday, after spending the morning hosting a class on "Drama," my evening turned into one.

Well almost.

The leading actress was a member of my team, who for some time now has harboured the notion that I wanted a part in her production.

Trying to maintain peace on my team, for months now I have tried to manage her interruptions, tantrums, late night text messages and gossiping.  

I had enough yesterday. My diplomacy and patience ran out. After she unceremoniously interrupted a conversation that I was having with another team member, I invited her to a private meeting room.

Initially her attitude was one of attack; suggesting that she would go over my head and lodge a complaint that she was not being given the regard she deserves. My responses was, "Please go right ahead."

Thing is, I am not afraid of:

• Anyone
• Being unemployed
• Being broke as a result of unemployment
• Being alone

Every one of these circumstances I have experienced and I have long learned that there is only One Power in this Universe and that Power is not human.

I have also learned how to set boundaries.

Raised as the only child of a dysfunctional single mother, boundaries were something never practiced or demonstrated in my world. Being the target of childhood and adolescent sexual abuse by multiple perpetrators compounded my lack of fence building.

Like drama, climbing over people's "walls" was my way of being and, as I had none, people had no trouble getting into my deepest space.

Until 2007.

That was the year, when on the floor of a psychologist's office, my familiarisation began with boundaries. Using coloured wool, she taught me how to differentiate Me from others, what was my space (physical and spiritual), my responsibilities and my obligations to myself.

The most challenging and the most profound lessons require lots of practice. Boundaries proved to be in that category. It would take close to five years before I could truly say that not only did I get it but was actively practicing boundary setting and maintenance.

My daughter and my relationship was the last bastion and training ground. There also laid my sweetest reward - a healthy, open and total unconditional loving relationship.

Last evening, that was the message I shared with my team member. My suggestion to her was that she ought to consider the true nature of our relationship, how I have been operating in that relationship and learn to respect my boundaries as I have respected hers.

Some people you have to spell it out for them and spelling was one of my strengths in school.

Is there someone in your life needing a session in building fences? Are you the one overstepping other people's fences/boundaries? Then, let us have a chat here or on my page. You can also email me. There is no charge for any of this.

Be blessed and have a great rest of the day on the job site!

Drama, Your Days Are Numbered!

Years ago, I had the privilege of working with a very prominent woman in the Jamaican society. Very few could come close to her with name recognition both locally and internationally.

It was not my first time working alongside her. My first up close and personal meeting with her was in my teens. During my twenties, I volunteered and was later hired part time with an organization where she was extremely close to the top. Our paths crossed many times but it was not until my thirties that my connection became up close and personal.

The timing could not have been better as it was just right after I received my invitation to The Big Dance. As it turned out, she would be one of my early chaperones to the event.

I was at the point in my life where my drama debt was piling up. Bankruptcy was still not imminent but my sanity was severely threatened and my health was deteriorating. She clearly knew something was wrong with me but it was not until one morning when I turned up for work at her home office, distraught bordering on dishevelled looking, that she challenged me.

By then I was a "Truth" student, enrolled in actual classes for enlightenment. My awakening had begun so when what would be considered by some as harsh words came from her mouth, I heard as the voice of Truth.

"Claudette, you have signed up for the role of supporting actress in your mother's drama. You are at breaking point now. You have and always had choices. Only you know what will work best for you moving forward but obviously this role is killing you - physically, financially and spiritually. The only fully functioning aspect of you right in this moment is your mental capacity. Let it lead you to the solution. Get off the stage!"

This chaperone was no stranger to acting or drama, having lived a life full of both and since our conversation, has completed and published the book that I was there helping type the first chapters.

I did not immediately cut up my drama card. For almost a decade, I continued using it, making minimum payments here and there by cutting out some things and situations out of my life. The big bill though would take much longer to either pay off or declare bankruptcy.

Eventually I did. Yes, it was painful. People think I am a very strong woman and I am. However, my strength is in my weakness, my ability to open myself up to vulnerability, laying my soul bare, starving my appetite for company, popularity, luxuries, accolades, recognition and even love.

My resignation from the dramatic life was in itself and in part drama! It was my final act.

Now, I live a simple, stress free, love-filled life. Certainly, there are days, moments and/or situations when Drama shows up, expecting to be invited in. Being a human-becoming, I have opened the door from time-to-time and said hello.

My hearing, however, has become highly attuned to the Still Small Voice within me. That Voice never fails to softly remind me that drama will oftentimes wear masks. I have therefore become the mistress of mask removal - mine and that of others.

Where is your drama debt? Ready to turn in the card and clear the debt? If yes, visit me on my page for tips and classes. Also check our Facebook page for additional motivation.

Have a blessed and drama-free day!

Claudette

Let Us Dance!

With age comes wisdom they say but they forgot to add that your "dancing" skills greatly improve.

Furthermore, just to be completely accurate and nondiscriminatory against our youth, not every "aging" person gets more wise or become better "dancers." As well, there are many old souls and Bing Cosby's among our youths.

Having set the record straight, back to the original thought of aging and improved dancing skills.

Now read this carefully:

"Not everyone gets invited to the big dance, only those who are ready for it."

Youth - physical and psychological - is the rehearsal room for the big dance. We get to practice our steps, try out various dance moves and master a few, a couple or one. For some, it will take many years and several parties to get the moves just right. In my experience, it also took many embarrassing moments, flops, inappropriate steps and stepping on many partners' toes for me to finally get my moves just how I like them.

Then the invitation came.

I was only 37 years old in numbers when my invite to the big dance came. At first, I did not recognize that that was it. Frankly, I had given up on dancing. After years of trying, it felt as if it was time to give up. My dancing with family was an abysmal failure. They seemingly preferred to lead and somewhere deep inside of me, I just knew that that music was doing nothing for me.

The people with whom I fell in love were mostly great dancers. There are countless songs that still play in my ears, reminding me of long slow dances in darkened party halls. Somehow, however, we could not transfer those moods, we could not continue dancing into the light.

My dance with strangers, particularly those operating in the financial sphere, was ruinous! I just could not find my groove with them.

When my invite to the big dance turned up, I noticed that there was no date. It simply read:

"Ms Claudette Esterine is cordially invited to The Dance, hosted by Life at Everywhere she is courageous enough to be Herself."

No date, no time and worse of all, no flipping dress code!

Almost 13 years later and I am still dancing:

• To my own heartbeat
• By myself and loving it
• Financially unburdened
• With simple abundance and pure joy.

Will there be a physical dance partner one day? I do not know and that is not my focus. What matters is that I am dancing/living according to and in alignment with my inner band.

Did your invitation come? You might miss it if you are not ready. Let me help you. Visit the DOS Foundation page for topical, motivational and inspirational tips, articles and posts. For more in depth dancing, join me on my professional page and let us get this party started!

Be blessed and dance!


Claudette is the Founder and Editor of DOS Foundation and this blog. She is Jamaican-Canadian and currently lives in Edmonton, Alberta.

2015: Expansion Year - Time To Be CUTE

Towards the end of 2014, I shared a snippet from a conversation that I had with one of my closest DOS Sistahs.

Here is what I posted on December 23:

"I was chatting with one of my Sistahs last night and just before ringing off she said something that had me in stitches.

"My intention for 2015 Claudette is to be cute. My kids and I, we will just be cute!"

As I was hanging up, cackling, I thought carefully about what she said and why. We were musing about people in our lives, those who left because their opinion of us was vibrating on a lower level than our own, finances, travel plans and the relationships that were false starts.

"I'm going to be cute!"

Writing this, it came to me that she meant that instead of allowing any of this to drag her down, my friend was going to remain:
* Calm - as she knows her Source
*  Uniquely herself
*  True to that Self
*   Empowered

Dang! My Sistahs are so profound and CUTE!"

This conversation and the insight that I gained from it has really informed my way of being for 2015. It has had the most impact on my decisions as to my interpersonal and even intimate relationships.

Cuteness has and will continue to inform my professional life as well. I am like many of you in that I have a full time job, working for a not-for-profit organization. The difference between some of you and me might be in the fact that my employment allows me a very good work-life balance.

An important part of my life is what I do, using my formal training, professional and life experiences, is providing support and comfort to those who require it. Years ago, my qualifications to do this was questioned by a former intimate partner. Instead of allowing that to diminish me, my desire to serve and share my journey intensified.

So, throughout 2015, as they say in the land of my birth, Jamaica, my cuteness tun' up!

This is Expansion Year for you and for me and I invite you to hang out and be cute with me! Join me on the DOS Foundation page for topical, motivational and inspirational conversations and quotes. As well, bookmark and *Like* my professional, moonlighting page for practical tips and resources on how to be CUTE in 2015.

Namaste.


Claudette is the Founder of and Personal Coach at DOS Foundation, as well as the main Author and Editor this blog.

Ready For 2015?

As of tomorrow, I'm putting up new shingles and entering the Expansion Business.

Yup, I will be expanding my heart and embracing:
* new people
* new opportunities
* new things and situations
And even new mistakes that match my vibration  and help me to grow into an even more expanded version of Me!

That's my Mission Statement for 2015. Have you written yours?

Join me on our Facebook page as well as on my professional page and be part of the expansion.

Namaste

Claudette