Do You Have An Exit Strategy For Your Life?

There comes a time in all of our lives when a certain invitation is delivered.

You have three choices when that happens:

1. Decline the invitation
2. Postpone your decision
3. Accept the invitation

Whatever you do, your life will change. Not making a decision does not delay the change. Declining the invitation does not cancel it either. When you accept the invitation, the change will not surprise you.

This post is delayed by a day, not owing to my not accepting the invitation. I did that many years ago. The piece is a day 'late' in coming as I was taken on an adventure yesterday, one that provided me a glimpse into what life can be when we decline or delay a decision re its invitation.

We are given this life to live, not exist but live fully, consciously and holistically. There comes a point when each of us are invited to make a decision how we will live.

Yesterday, I took a ride through parts of Kingston, Jamaica with sirens blaring. No, I had not committed a crime or was the target of one. The police were not my escorts.

 It was my day of giving back, having celebrated my 50th birthday the previous day. Some very dear friends had actually gathered on Valentine's night and partied with me to ring in my half century. On Sunday, my actual birthday, I attended a church service which would normally lift me but for some reasons, ones I will not bother to detail them, it did not.

Maybe I was 'high' enough for the moment. Life felt wonderful and I with it. No additional affirmation of my path necessary.

My hostess, friend and mentor heads a local not-for-profit and each time I am here,  at least one day of my stay is dedicated to serving her organization in whatever way she needed. Yesterday, that service took the form of moral support more than anything else.

What was not anticipated was the lesson in store for me.

Without disclosing any detail of the situation, due to privacy concerns, I supported my friend as she provided services to a palliative client. As a trained chaplain, that was a very familiar environment for me, granted my training and service provision were not in Jamaica. So, the physical differences in the hospital wing as well as hospice were striking to me.

Admittedly, when I entered the hospice my heart sank at the darkness of the place and I wondered whether this was a metaphor of what awaits the clients it serves. The charm, simplicity and homeliness of the surroundings soon rose up to greet me and distracted me from taking the gloomy detour.

Sitting on the wide, wraparound verandah, a cool and gentle breeze lulled me into a doze as I sat waiting in a most comfortable wooden recliner. I thought to myself, "I could spend my last days like this."

Morbid as that might sound, transitioning is something that have been on my mind since turning 50. In my own view, I have lived a different yet very full life. Many dreams I had were shelved either because they were made from a place of "lack" or they simply were not mine.

For months now, my close friends have heard me say that should my number be called, I will answer without regrets. My last longing was to see my daughter on her own two feet. She has done that and more.

Listening to the story of the journey of the individual we accompanied to this "last point before exit" - not my description but that of the young administrator - I wondered whether she had delayed a decision or declined the invitation.

Without judgment, this was clearly not a situation where the invitation was accepted and embraced. My coming to that conclusion was based not on the humble nature of the hospice that the last days would be spent in but rather the resistance of the individual to being there.

There was an uneasiness, fear and an resigned look in the eyes that briefly met mine.

Again, without judgment, I thought to myself, "whatever time I have left will be spent stepping into life, doing only what brings me joy and loving wastefully." That is not the look, those were not the eyes that I want to adorn my face when my time comes.

Have you given thought to your life and your exit strategy? It really is nothing to be scared of nor will doing so invite the inevitable to come a minute sooner. For all the time that I have spent with end of life patients, I have never heard any expressing a desire for the stuff they had or had not acquired. Every single one wanted to have their 'dance' partners - family and loved ones - comforted and if possible by their bedside to wish them farewell.

There were those who also had tons of regrets for not living fully and intentionally and for not loving more.

Do not let that be you.

Namaste

Claudette is the Founder of DOS Foundation and main author of this blog. You may send her an email with your more private questions or request for support. You may also leave a comment here or on her personal coaching page.

Let Us Dance!

With age comes wisdom they say but they forgot to add that your "dancing" skills greatly improve.

Furthermore, just to be completely accurate and nondiscriminatory against our youth, not every "aging" person gets more wise or become better "dancers." As well, there are many old souls and Bing Cosby's among our youths.

Having set the record straight, back to the original thought of aging and improved dancing skills.

Now read this carefully:

"Not everyone gets invited to the big dance, only those who are ready for it."

Youth - physical and psychological - is the rehearsal room for the big dance. We get to practice our steps, try out various dance moves and master a few, a couple or one. For some, it will take many years and several parties to get the moves just right. In my experience, it also took many embarrassing moments, flops, inappropriate steps and stepping on many partners' toes for me to finally get my moves just how I like them.

Then the invitation came.

I was only 37 years old in numbers when my invite to the big dance came. At first, I did not recognize that that was it. Frankly, I had given up on dancing. After years of trying, it felt as if it was time to give up. My dancing with family was an abysmal failure. They seemingly preferred to lead and somewhere deep inside of me, I just knew that that music was doing nothing for me.

The people with whom I fell in love were mostly great dancers. There are countless songs that still play in my ears, reminding me of long slow dances in darkened party halls. Somehow, however, we could not transfer those moods, we could not continue dancing into the light.

My dance with strangers, particularly those operating in the financial sphere, was ruinous! I just could not find my groove with them.

When my invite to the big dance turned up, I noticed that there was no date. It simply read:

"Ms Claudette Esterine is cordially invited to The Dance, hosted by Life at Everywhere she is courageous enough to be Herself."

No date, no time and worse of all, no flipping dress code!

Almost 13 years later and I am still dancing:

• To my own heartbeat
• By myself and loving it
• Financially unburdened
• With simple abundance and pure joy.

Will there be a physical dance partner one day? I do not know and that is not my focus. What matters is that I am dancing/living according to and in alignment with my inner band.

Did your invitation come? You might miss it if you are not ready. Let me help you. Visit the DOS Foundation page for topical, motivational and inspirational tips, articles and posts. For more in depth dancing, join me on my professional page and let us get this party started!

Be blessed and dance!


Claudette is the Founder and Editor of DOS Foundation and this blog. She is Jamaican-Canadian and currently lives in Edmonton, Alberta.