Freedom Day: Break Loose

A couple weeks ago, I attended my first Millionaire Mind Workshop. It probably is my last, however, the experience was another turning point one for me.

Coming right in the middle of the Breaking Loose Challenge that is ending today and hosted on my coaching page, my being at the workshop was no accident. Neither was it a coincidence.

The point of the Challenge is breaking ties with all that bind us to a life we no longer wish to live. For some, it was a chain and for others it was a single thread. Whatever it was the effect was the same - rooting and holding you (and me) in a past or aspects of our pasts that no longer serve us.

When the Challenge began, it was my distinct view that my knot had to do primarily with intimate relationships. This area of my life has been the most challenging, the most upsetting, the most crazy-making and the most outstanding. Quite a few "mosts" eh?

That view was not wrong but it was myopic.

One of the things that have proven very important for my growth over the years is the ability to listen and follow inner guidance. There is a hymn that goes, "He never fails me yet, He never fails me yet..." Attributing this steadfastness to Jesus, the writer of this hymn affirms paying attention to the Unseen but the somehow Omniscient.

My "He" is that Still Small Voice that speaks to me always. Sad to say, I do not always hear or listen. The idea of the 30-Day Breaking Loose Challenge was "His" and I listened and followed. As with every thing that I write about in this blog, this Challenge was primarily for me.

I am always grateful when at least one other is supported through my sharing my journey.

Source: pinterest.com

At the start of the Workshop, the lead trainer asked us, the participants, to quiet the other voice that would shut us down to what was being shared. He gave several examples of what that voice in our heads would suggest. The one that resonated most with me was, "I know that already!"

Ignoring that suggestion, granted I did know many of the affirmations, the techniques and the exercises to take control of one's habitual thinking patterns, my "learning" moment arrived. It was the moment that made clear why I had to attend and linked my relationship thread with a bigger issue for me.

Money.

In the informational email we got after registering for this Workshop, there was an instruction to bring $100. I forgot and only had $45 on the day. The Workshop Leader insisted that the few of us who did not follow the instruction stand up. If that was not embarrassing enough, he then gave us two minutes to "beg, borrow or somehow" get the money in order to participate in the exercise.

Right there, right in that he tugged on my chain!

Browse through this blog's archive and you will find many stories about my:

• Issues with money
• Reaction to begging
• Childhood in near "poverty"
• Bankruptcy
• Challenges mixing intimacy with money
• Strong sense of independence

Yes, I had gotten over, worked my way through, unpacked and healed even most of the above but this man wanted ME to go begging strangers for money? Me - the only black woman standing, never mind the other women! "Hell no, @$%& no!"

It took all of two seconds for all of my residual pain to rise and drag me back into my seat. Short of breath, I weighed my options:

1. Beg the money
2. Sneak out of the room

Shame either way - in my eyes.

To cut a long story short, I accepted $55 offered to me by a young lady sitting in front of me. A Caucasian woman. I am being honest and vulnerable here folks. This was another touchstone moment. Read more in an upcoming article.

The Universe was not finished with me. The chain was not off yet.

Suave, handsome and a self-made millionaire, according to the literature and his testimony, the Workshop Leader then led us through an exercise to burn the $100!

His team came to the front with lit candles, extinguishers and buckets filled with water. We were snaking our way - all 200+ of us -  towards them to burn the money!

"Hell, @$%& no, I am not burning this money!"

"It is not my @$%& money!"

"Is he @$%& mad??"

I was not chanting but cussing like a prison worker that I once was. There was no way I was burning that money.

It was a test. He stopped us just as the first in line was about to burn their $100.

Assessing ourselves and the exercise after, most said they were going to do it. Some said they would not have. Those who loaned money said they were concerned for their money and, saving the young lady who loaned me $55, none of them got a "loan agreement."

My response got an A+. I was not going to burn the money because:

1. I take orders from no human to do something that goes against my principles
2. My principle is to respect other people's property and what I work for
3. I no longer need to burn money - metaphorically and in reality - to prove anything to anyone.

Source: pinterest.com

Ties cut! Breaking Loose Challenge a success for me!

Did you participate? If yes, did you learn anything new about your ties and did you cut them? If no, it can be done anytime. Simply browse here and follow my coaching page for details. You can also, always contact me.

Enjoy your Freedom Day!

Day 10: Let The Chips Fall Where They May

This journey of 50 years has given me many gifts. The one that has caused confusion for some but calmness to me is the gift of goodbye.

In a recent conversation with a potential suitor, I told him that my ability to walk away from just about anything and anyone, for that matter, is very high. It is an art that came to me years after almost losing my life and most definitely my mind at the end of a long term relationship.

My comment was at first received as a cold one but after explaining my understanding of unconditional loving, he got it.

That too came in the contrasts of the breakup. Had it not happened, had I not "lost" the most precious intimate relationship to me, I would not have understood what I do now.

Since that time, in every relationship, in every situation and in every encounter I give my all, expecting nothing in return but very grateful when anything is given.

Then, I allow the chips to fall where they may.

Despite what we might think, the only thing or person we control is ourselves and the choices we make. Being in relationship with anyone, getting the promotion, owning a business is no guarantee of lifelong happiness, success or wealth. What is within our power in any of these examples is our attitude, appreciation level and fortitude.

Fortunes, circumstances, emotions will change as the business, job or relationship evolve. Even you will change - the way you think, your attitude and your performance - for the better or worse.

As you write your story, the key to being able to rest peacefully at night, go to work without knots in your stomach, enjoying your relationship is loving and releasing everything and everyone; and doing your best in every given situation.

Then, let the chips fall where they may.

My firm belief is that we find what we look for and so for years now, every day that I arise one of my silent prayers is: "May I see and greet in Love in every encounter today. Where something other than Love shows up, let me be grateful for the reminder to wash my glasses."

As you go about this the 10th day of this Breaking Loose Challenge, be you, the best you in every instance and then allow the chips to fall where they may. Here is a great article that might help you. It outlines 13 things that mentally strong people do not do and that is who you are - a free and strong person.

Namaste.

Read Day #9 Challenge: A.I.M.

Thirty Days To Freedom

I changed my mind about March.

And about men and relationships.

Did the same with food and friendships.

Now working on changing my mind about money.

Mental slavery is a b'tch and so I changed my mind and am actively choosing "full free." That is what the main character in that classic movie - Amistad - demanded as he and his fellow kidnapped Africans stood in chains before a judge.

Full free is what this next 30 days are about.

Many of us spend a lifetime trying to be what we came into this life experience as - fully free humans becoming. Naked, unscheduled, unprogrammed and most certainly unshackled we entered. Along the way, well meaning people, starting with parents, changed and influenced our experience of who and what we truly are.

This too can and shall pass - whether it takes a lifetime or a few days. You can choose as I have. Change your mind, free yourself from the most insidious bondage there ever is - mental slavery.

Today is Day One. The first step is to test the strength of the chains that bind you.

What this requires is:

Take an hour or however long you need in a quiet place or simply close your office door if you have one. Do a mental inventory of your life right in this moment. Ask yourself the one and only relevant important question: "Am I happy from the sole of my feet to my fingertips?"

If your answer is yes, like mine is, then your step two is below. Should your answer be no, not really or completely, not sure then this is your step two. Get a bit of paper - nothing big - or on your smart phone app, make a note of the one thing, no more, that you would like to be different and what would make your heart sing.

However, this one thing CANNOT be a material item, such as a new house, car, shoes, etc. Neither can it be dependent on someone, such as your boss passing away or at least retire or finding someone who you feel can make you happy.

Once you have that happiness thread noted, put the paper or phone away and get back to your regularly scheduled activity with this mantra in your mind: "My happiness is dependent on me."

For those of us who feel the constant tingling of happiness, our exercise is to repeat the same mantra throughout the day, no matter what comes up. Colleague being difficult, boyfriend/girlfriend has not texted for hours, car repair shop called and you have to take public transit home - "My happiness is dependent on me."

This my friends is the first step in our deprogramming. It is called "taking responsibility for our lives, feelings and well being." Ever noticed a newborn how unaffected they are by the circumstances around them? Whether the parents bought Gucci baby clothes or their wardrobe came from Walmart they poop in it just the same.

That's our mission today. Find one thing that would tickle us pink and use the thought of it as our compass to inner happiness and peace. Drop a load on whatever else shows up!

Try that for today and tonight just before bed, make a note of three happy moments that surprised you today. Share them with me here or on my coaching page.

Be blessed and be happy as we #BreakLoose this March.

Claudette is the Founder of Daughter of Sheba Foundation. She is a communications specialist and lives in Edmonton, Alberta.

Confession: Good For Whose Soul?

Photo Source: hnltv.com

Who said that? "Confession is good for the soul," is an old Scottish proverb I found out and actually a word is reportedly missing.

An article on www.devotions.com states that the proverb in fact reads: "Open confession is good for the soul." What the heck?! It seems to me that what this is saying is one has to publicly admit to sinning ("missing the mark" is my preferred choice of words) and not merely 'confess' in your heart. Do you agree?

Admitting you have made a mistake to self is sometimes hard enough. Add to that going to whomever you screwed over and 'fessing up' in order to be completely absolved is taking it to another level. I can hear some of you saying, "Just shoot me and get it over with!" 

Apologizing for borrowing your girlfriend's lipstick without asking her and never returning it until she saw it on your dresser is one thing. Admitting that you and her boyfriend once smooched is going overboard! Is it not enough that it happened only once? "They broke up like three years ago so what's the point telling her now?! Hell no!" 

We all join in the hue and cry for politicians to be honest and confess their misdeeds. A virtual lynch mob gathers when a scandal, especially the salacious sex ones or some financial wrong doing, is uncovered. That **** is juicy! Then why not the same standards for ourselves in our personal lives?

• I could lose my job. 
• It could destroy my marriage
• She would never speak to me again. 
• The whipping that I would get is not worth it. 
• I would be disgraced in front of the entire community. 
• My family would ostracize me/us. 

These are just some of the reasons people do not confess to error in judgment. Rightly or wrongly, it is their choice whether to confess. Being judged as inadequate, different, greedy, addicted to (sex, food, money, etc) you name it, or being isolated from people dear to you are powerful disincentives to confession.

Telling the truth, however, is such a power-filled action. Keeping secrets, requires a special degree in "Cover Up Artistry." You need several devices to keep up with the stories because one lie attracts another and the momentum builds until explosion point! 

Have you ever wondered why someone would confess to an action taken moons ago, one that seemed as if they had gotten away with it? I worked in the correctional system and one important thing that the parole board members assess is whether the potential parolee is displaying remorse. It is a driving factor why people confess. Other reasons that lead to confessions - immediate or delayed - include:

1. "Guilt (for what they did years ago or recently or both) 
2. Closure (To seek help to get the 'demons' out of their minds) 
3. Seeking help (To find out why they have done these acts)"

Whether you are a Christian or following any other religious or spiritual path that teaches confession and, based on my personal experiences, I would have to agree that confession is indeed good for the soul and mind. It heals not just you but possibly the person(s) you have wronged.

While we are not in the "confession" business :), feel free to drop me a line should there be something weighing heavily on your mind. There are many resources available and I might be able to point you to one.

Follow us on Twitter @DOSFoundation and/or *Like* our page at www.facebook.com/daughtersofsheba for further discussion on this most challenging but freeing of act.

Have a great day!