Diversity - Loving All of Me

Karen Jeanette - Guest Author

Only five years old and I was already becoming most concerned about my appearance.  I had to wear “those shoes” with “this top” and “my favorite skirt.”  As you can well imagine, especially if you have a five year old in your life, my tastes were completely inconsistent. This was a source of great frustration for my single mom!

That was just the tip of the iceberg. See, my sense of "looks" ran beyond my clothing and extended to my skin color.  And that of my various family members.  Quite frankly, I think that might have been when my confusion commenced.  Everyone had a different skin colour and different types of hair. Huh? 

I kept looking in the mirror trying to figure out how and where did I fit in.  

Photo Courtesy of: www.webstockpro.com

So too the other children - they tried to 'place' me and would ask, “What are you?” Going to the source of all knowledge, I asked my mother. Her reply, “You’re black and that’s all that matters.”

She explained that growing up she was told, "If any part of you is black then you are black."  Well, I took that as gospel and ran with it.

And I continued to run with it, even after learning the specifics of my ethnic composition. On my maternal father's side, I am of African descent. There is also Native American “Delaware Indian" tribe, German, Latin and British (Dorset County in England) flowing in my bloodstream.  

Photo Courtesy of Delaware Public Archives

That explained why my Dad had bone straight hair, why my mother, who was very fair, had long wavy hair and purposely tanned in the summer (which frankly, I never understood).  I also learned from a cousin that some of the Native American members of my father’s family still reside in or around Bartlesville, Oklahoma "on and off the reservation." This knowledge would later lead me to participate in and assist with the coordination of Pow-Wows and other Native American meetings/gatherings.

I was shown our family tree sometime in my 20's and it was explained to me by my cousin. He was so proud of our family history and completely embraced our diversity.  I, on the other hand, was honestly shocked to discover the diversity of our family lineage.  It was at this point that I SLOWLY began to embrace it.

Yet, I was still a bit reticent to declare this to anyone. Remember, my mother told me, "If any part of you is black then you are black."  Consequently, to my mind then, being black is all I should and would acknowledge.

Years later, after the passing of my paternal grandmother, I arrived at my cultural crossroad.

 

Observing the blend of the funeral attendees, that all these people in all of their diversity were “family” - my blood relations - my heart opened.  It was truly my "aha" moment and was rather revealing (and sort of shocking) for me to see this first hand. My family ~ my very diverse family, the blend in me that I had so adamantly denied.   

I Love All Of Me! ♡
Photo Courtesy of: naturalitabaker.blogspot.com

It was at this point that I finally told myself “Karen, you are truly unique and you embody many different cultures ~ it's time to embrace them.” 

This was the moment, at my grandmother's funeral that I truly learned to love “all of me.”

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Namaste

Karen Jeanette is a member of the DOS Facebook Group and lives in Arizona, USA with her beautiful family. She is one of our regular Guest Authors.