This Week's Best Offer: Services For Angry Women

Friday is my day off from writing articles. Actually, the entire weekend is a no-writing time for me. Refresh, relax and rejuvenate is the order of the weekend.

Until we sit and chat again, do browse the archive for posts on various life matters. Have a read of the best and most read article of this week.

Above all else, do have a great weekend! Enjoy yourself, your family and your friends! Please visit my page and share pictures from your weekend adventures with me.

Namaste, until we meet again.

Claudette

No, I Don't Trust You

Five letters spell one of the most difficult things to do after you have had it broken.

T.r.u.s.t.

Maya Angelou has a five word sentence that succinctly covers my thoughts on trust: "I got my own back."

There was a time not so long ago when I would be embarrassed and very hesitant to say that I have trust issues. Not anymore. Today, I have embraced the fact that I do not trust my fellow human beings.

Reading this, you might think that this woman needs a coach herself. Maybe I do but certainly not when it comes to trusting people.

At my age and with my faith misplaced more than 50 times 50 times in my lifetime, I have learned that trust is a responsibility and expectation that I can have only of what I call God.

After Source, I trust myself and that is where the buck stops.

Without rancour or bitterness, this revelation has saved me from having my heart broken, my hopes dashed, my illusions shattered and abandoning my dreams. I have released the people in my life, the strangers who might become friends and the friends who are my family from the responsibility of my happiness.

My only expectation of anyone is that they will bring out the best in me - either by challenging me by being a thorn in my proverbial side or loving me as I am yet to know.

Trust is between The Universe and I.

1. Every night that I go to sleep, I trust that the sun will come up in the morning whether I am alive to see it or not.
2. Every day that I arise, I trust that the blood will circulate through my veins without any special effort on my part.
3. Every time, every second of every day, I trust that Earth will revolve on its axis without my having to give it a push start.

I trust the natural workings of Source. I give everyone else permission to be who they want to be even if it causes me grief, pain and suffering to observe. I trust that Source has their backs as well and all things must and will work out for good in the end.

That is why I do not cry anymore when a potential relationship does not "work out." Hence, I no longer have sleepless nights about my daughter's welfare.

Trusting only Source gives me relief in knowing that what is mine or for me will come. I prove this day in and day out; and you could too. Trust me. Just kidding.

You do not have to place your trust in me, any religious institution, politicians, or people. You can hear what they have to say, take what makes sense to you and request that they fulfill what they committed to do. However, my suggestion is to trust yourself and you alone with your happiness whether they come through or not.

Write to me if you would like to discuss some practical things that you can do to embrace your "trust issues." Reminder, these are simply tools that worked for me - not treatments. If you feel that your life has become more than you can bear and is physically and psychologically affecting your wellbeing, please consult a medical professional.

Otherwise, comment here and visit my coaching page and let us "draw long bench."

Have a great day.

Alignment Services For Angry Women Only

By society's standards, she is overweight. That does not seem to stop her from doing what she needs to do. Actually, she has done quite a lot in her years including owning and running, a now defunct, successful small business, raising two beautiful children and maintaining a 20-year marriage.

Her husband and her own a beautiful house on an acreage, drive late model cars and also own a holiday home in Florida. He has a great job, bringing home the bulk of the income but hers is not peanuts either. Between their salaries, the family is well fed, clothed and with extended family members, they vacation twice a year.

They seem to have it all and a dog AND a cat to go with it!

Yet, for some reason, she is angry as hell and a bully.

My dealings with her as been from the sidelines and even from that distance, her volcanic outbursts of pissed off reach me. Without warning, cuss words, slamming of the phone, banging of doors and a bewildering display of irrational anger can hit you like a tornado.

Other times, she tries the silent treatment, muttering supposedly to herself but turned up enough for the relevant "bystander" to hear that she is not pleased that they exist.

Except for her family members, she seems to like very few people and it is even questionable how many of her kin really has a place in her heart.

Scorched by her last eruption, I started singing.

It was either that or lose my little quotient of patience that I spoke of yesterday. Having been as angry as her in another life, I recognise the signs of a woman not at peace with the life she created.

That is the hardest - when what you thought you wanted; when what is simply makes you see red. There is no one to "blame" so everyone gets a share before you crash and burn and accept what is.

Why would it be hard to be at peace with all the stuff this woman has? So many people in the world have way less and are certainly more happy. I for one am.

Well, stuff cannot love you back. That is the first thing. No matter how much you have accumulated, they just cannot replace or substitute what every human being needs.

Family members, even your children and spouse cannot do it either. They can express their love for you, be grateful that you are their on-call unpaid chauffeur, the best wife a man could ask for but if that gap is not filled, that will still not do it.

Deliberately putting others down, bullying your coworkers, ridiculing other people's errors, culture, way of life or thinking you know everything there is to know about, let us say running a business because you had one, will certainly only make you more angry.

My experience has been that while men are competitive, women can be just as. Our way of competing is insidious, backbiting and propelled by our internal bitterness. There is another "B" word but I will not go there - today.

Sadly, many women measure their worth not against their own perception of success but what Jane has, what Suzy looks like and the size of and possessions in Mary's house. To fall "short" in any of these and other measures result in a growing anger, bitterness and general unhappiness. The striving and striking out escalates against what is.

I have worked through these measures over the years, discarding almost all of them and now making my way through the last one. What has led me through is not retreating to a convent, granted that option has appealed to me in the past, or heavy duty meditation. Several tools have helped me, many of which are available through this blog, a great amount of quiet time, reflection and introspection and a general realigning of my wants and needs versus what society or others suggest.

Should any of the descriptors of the heroine of this article fit you or how someone has described their experience with you, please feel free to email me or inbox me on my page and let us swap stories. The goal is always that in such sharing, a solution might be found.

Namaste

Photos: pinterest.com

Patience Provides Endless Possibilities

Risk taker? Very much so

Impulsive? Somewhat

Driven? Absolutely about my passions

Persistent? Yes

Patient? Not very

That is the truth about me - some of my character traits, strengths and even flaws some might say.

What does that make me? Me.

To care for someone, to want to be in their life for whatever the reason whether platonic or intimate is to recognize, accept and work with each and every aspect of them.

In my case, it can be quite daunting but the possibilities are endless, if I may say so myself (with my tongue planted to my cheek).

Driving to get the windshield changed on my car, I received a message on my phone. Now having this fancy-to-me sync feature, I decided to call the messenger instead of pulling over to text him back. Surprisingly, given his busy work schedule, he answered and even more of a surprise he had time to chat for a bit.

Depending on your outlook and the thickness of your skin, the ensuing conversation could be considered rough or revealing.

There has hardly ever been any question about my skin quality so for me it was a very revealing discussion - amusing at points, intimate without being bawdy at others and most insightful on both sides.

Well at least for me it was and so much so that it had me thinking all day on just one point - patience.

My friend told me he found me quite impatient and petulant when things do not go how and at the pace that I want. Petulant is my choice of word to cover the more diplomatic ones he used.

Really? Me? Impatient? Still?

A part of me wanted to deny it but thankfully, defensive no longer describes me. Going back to my "fish bowl" days of chaplaincy training, I can take hearing someone's view of me, how they are experiencing me. I am most receptive when the feedback is constructive, caring and straightforward - and he was being all three.

Added to that he called me "Cute." Flattery always works to sandwich what could be a blow to a weak personality. Being neither weak in personality, big on ego or arrogant in my ways, I listened and heard every observation he made.

To grow, one has to be open to the possibility that past wounds are still unhealed. No one is too evolved or healed, not even Oprah, to not have an area or areas that need some attention. If that was the case, they would not be here on Earth but returned to Source.

Since yesterday, this blog and my coaching page have been focussed on dwelling in the possibilities. To my mind and in my heart that means being open to the messages that come and often through people. My friend yesterday bore an important message to me:

"You are going to miss the possibility of a great relationship - whatever it looks like - with your unresolved impatience."

There is nothing wrong with wanting to get things done, done right, in a timely fashion, efficiently and directly. My most anxious moments come with laggardly performance, beating around the bush conversations, unnecessary delays and shoddy service.

After ringing off from him, I went about my business but the conversation stuck in my head. The question was there too - "What now, Claudette?"

Patiently I allowed my emotions to speak at their own pace. I accepted and now I am embracing my residual impatience, recognizing that it comes from my sparsely inhabited fear room.

"Impatience is rooted in fear - fear that what is yours will not come, that you are undeserving or just it, whatever it is, simply cannot be possible." Claudette Esterine

Everything is possible. I have proven that not in limelight spectacular ways but in ones that have been superbly important to my journey. You can too.

This heart is always open to sharing with whoever asks. So drop me a line, leave a comment and/or visit my coaching page. What you will receive are not evolved suggestions or a sage's wisdom but the truths of a woman with a past making her way into an empowered today.

Namaste


Photos: pinterest.com

This Miserable or Magical Life?

Romantic I am. At least I think so. Maybe my exes would not agree.

"Romanticizer" of life - not guilty on that score.

Wine me, dine me, make coffee for me and, best of all, have intelligent, witty, thought-provoking conversations with me and you will have me eating out of your hands. Well, metaphorically. You will at least have my keen interest.

Tell me that all that glitters might very well be gold, that there is milk and honey paving the streets or that my knight in shining armour will come one day soon if I keep hopeful and you will lose me.

Somewhere smack dab in the middle is where you will find me. In my books, life is experienced on a spectrum and whether it is misery or magical, mundane or miraculous is totally dependent on perspective. Your own.

Magic or if you prefer, miracles happen every day, everywhere and for everyone. The same is true of misery or mundane experiences. Some believe that those living in North America have a magical life. Others believe that those in Africa or other parts of the developing world (hate that label) are in misery.

Having lived in both "worlds," I know that both opinions are not only generalizations but incorrect, ignorant and uninformed.

Tell the person sitting in a prison cell in Canada, as I have attempted to do, that life is good and you might get more than a colourful earful. Hungry, feeling bereft of opportunities to make a decent living and marginalized for many different reasons, some resort to crime as the only viable option. They too wanted the magical life that they heard exists in North America.

Then there are those who seemingly have it all but cannot stop to enjoy it as they are in constant motion to get more. This is very similar to those in their country or in other parts of the world who have much less than they do but are in the same motion to acquire.

Observing this, it left me with the question, "Who or what determines quality of life?" The multi-Me have come up with an equal amount of responses:

1. The romantic in me responds that quality of life is measured by the relationship one is in and whether you are happy within it. 
2. The practical, rational me says that quality of life is higher when you own a house, enough cars to serve the household, an income to satisfy all your needs, at least six months savings in the bank and after all that still have disposable income to spend however you want.

The me who has walked part way along both the roads of poverty and the one leading to high income responds, Neither of the above by themselves." Quality of life is about having a great relationship, in fact great relationships of all types and, money to lead and afford the kind of life you desire.

Quality of life is determined by the only person qualified to do so. You.

What I have come to learn, after many years of jumping through hoops, chasing stuff, burning bridges and broken hearts, is that it matters not where a person lives for him/her to experience their "best life."

It is where the heart is.

Today, Day 103 of the year 2015, my quality of life is rich and expanding! Single, with several very close friends who are family and some family members who are dear friends, enough money to meet my few needs and even fewer wants and a growing savings balance - I am happy, well and full of joy!

What about you? Where are you experiencing life in our world and what is the quality of it in your view? Write to me if you need some of my "methods" in life quality management. If you are where you want to be, share some tips with the rest of us here or on my coaching page!

Have a great week and a Magical Monday!

Namaste.

ThIs Week: Claudette Dissed Jesus

What Does Paul Walker And Jesus Share?

Fridays are my rest days from writing articles, granted you can meet up with me on my coaching page for a conversation.

What will happen here every Friday however is that the best blog article of the week - the one with highest readership - will be re-posted and open for renewed conversation.

This week's best was what some might have considered my Dissing Jesus. Have a read and share your thoughts.

 As well, have a blessed weekend.

Namaste.

Cure For The Perpetual Helper

Once upon a time, in a land faraway I was a servant.

In fact, several times and in many lands, I was a helper, a butler, a charlady, a nanny, a slave, a valet and every other position of servitude you can imagine.

Convinced as I am that we either pass through this "place" more than once or have multiple and simultaneous existences, explains my propensity to serve. My current appearance on this Earth plane and my upbringing also confirmed my notion.

Taught that it was my lot in life to fulfill my mother's every need, being an overachiever I took it to another level. Anyone with a even slightly downward turn of their eyes could have me bending backwards, forwards, sideways and on my head in one smooth sequence to help them out.

That was my modus operandi for much of my life until I turned 48 and realized that being a contortionist was really not my calling.

Why did it take so long? The most life changing, direction-amending and value-adding changes usually takes time; as long as is required to get you to rock bottom.

Does that mean I have stopped helping others? Absolutely not, however, the quality of my helping has changed and that is what I would like to share with you today with this brief and completely unscientific test.

Answer these questions with a "Yes," "No," "Sometimes," or "Never." There is no right or wrong answer. Simply answer from your heart.

1.  Your friend is in a bind again and asks for your help. She is a single parent, working two jobs and can hardly afford daycare. One of her jobs called with an offer of overtime but, again, she has no money for a sitter. Do you help, again?

2.  A colleague at work is running late and texts you to help him out by setting up the meeting room for a major presentation. This could mean a promotion for your colleague if all goes well or major embarrassment if your boss gets there and things are not in place. Do you help your colleague get a promotion?

3.  Retired and with too much time on her hands, your mother calls you to come over and help her rearrange the furniture on Saturday. You met this really nice guy and had planned a picnic Saturday - your third date. Do you postpone and go help your mother?

4.  A brother from another mother calls and need to borrow a couple hundred dollars until his payday in a week. This is the third time you received such a call over the last six months. You got your money back the last couple of times, so what's the harm? Do you help?

Now, go back over your answers and ask yourself for each one:

• Is that what I would really do or it just sounds better?
• What would I really do?
• Would I feel a need to explain my answer to the person?
• Where did that response come from? Was it from my needing to be liked place or my free to give centre?

Your evaluation questions (the second set) and your answers to those, if done honestly, will reveal to you whether you are a perpetual helper - one who has to, need to, cannot help myself, guilty helper or whether you help according to your true desire and ability to help.

Had you asked me to take take this same test before my 48th birthday, my result would have pointed to the "guilty," "need to" helper - the person who helped because I was guilted into it and needed to be loved by others.

Until I was on my butt with no one offering to help me and reflecting on my own responses to help requests, I was a perpetual helper. Two years ago I stopped living and behaving in that fashion.

Still very much a helper, a giver and my most favoured 'title' - a server, my assistance now come from a place of:

• Love
• Abundance
• Empowerment

What this means is whatever the request, if I am not able to freely support you, with no thought as to whether I will get it back, no sense of loss AND that it will move your life forward - then I will not help.

The ironic thing is that sometimes, not helping is the greatest help you can offer. I know this a truth. Many turned their backs on me when I hit my rock bottom and oh, what a blessing that was! Now, I am making my way back up, solidly and firmly on my own two feet.

Yes, sometimes no help is great self-help.

Need more support with this issue? Write to me and visit my coaching page and I will be more than happy to walk with you.

Namaste.

Photos: pinterest.com