It Doesn't Matter What Anyone Thinks

A recent essay of mine was about angry women and alignment. Two months prior to offering this service to my dear Sistahs, another essay of mine was on the subject of being the best version of yourself.

My affinity to this matter seems really very tight as again in February the essay that I posted was on the same topic. On this occasion, reference was made to my daughter and how she subtly communicated to me that she did not give two hoots what I felt about her choices.

Here we are again on the topic, pulling together all the elements covered so far. Sort of a part four in a series on "Standing In Your Own Power," if I were to give it a title.

"It really does not matter what anyone thinks of you," would be the summation of today's segment. This came to me as I tossed and turned in the wee hours of the morning, woken up by the need to use the facilities and wondering to myself what a sleepover partner would think of this.

"Does it matter?" that sweet but slightly sarcastic voice in my heart asked me.

No, it does not, really. Neither does it matter what anyone thinks about my lifestyle, happily single with competing interests at 50 years of age and in no rush to choose. Who gives a shoot what anyone thinks of my hairstyle (dreadlocks), my sense of style that is so not designer or brand name?

Does it really matter that I much rather solitude or the company of very few friends for even fewer hours than being the centre of attention at a ball? Do I really care what anyone thinks that I made a mash-up breakfast of bok choy, spam and fried dumplings this morning?

Some people will lead or attempt to coerce you into believing that you owe them an explanation about your life or the things and people that make you happy. You do not.

What I have learned after years of jumping through the hoops, taken over the hills people of pleasing and down the valleys of despair is that I owe shit all to no one!

I have paid the price for the joy and soul fulfilling happiness that is now mine! As one of my spiritual teachers put it, you pay the price to come into your true power.

My suggestion to you today dear readers, my wellness tip to take you through this day, is simple:

"It really does not matter what anyone thinks about where you have been, what you have done or how you are living your life today. Ignore their commentary. Do you. Be you. You are on the right path for you, however it may look to anyone. Own your alignment!"

Have a You day!

Namaste

Your Power: Stand In It

Sometime last year, a Canadian woman - Caucasian, blonde and blue-eyed - posted a video on Facebook about Jamaica. I mention it and her features not because they are the point of today's post but more so as we are not in a post-racial age.

Race still matters - too much - and this particular post raised the issue among my friends and I. This video was on the subject of "begging" by Jamaicans. I for one took some offence to her post - not because of her race but her generalisation about a people and her presumption that she "knows everything" about our journey.

Having said that, the observation of this young lady about what has seemingly become a pastime for some Jamaicans is accurate. As a Jamaican who has resided outside of the country for about half of my life, I too am bothered by the practice.

Some of my people have lost sight of their power.

Growing up in Jamaica, I watched my mother finetune the art of begging to a master's level. In fact, I was supposed to be both her apprentice and target.

That never happened.

For over a decade, close to two, regrettably I allowed myself to be the bullseye on her dartboard. However, it was by the Grace of The Divine, I never learned the skill.

The opposite actually occurred throughout those years of giving and acquiescing to every demand made by her and her creditors.  

I learned to stand in my power.

Always a mouthy child, a thinker, a reader and a sponge for information from an early age, I knew I had something that would take care of me. What and where it would come from, I had no clue.

No matter the situation I got myself in, a crack always opened to light my way out. Yes, sometimes it would happen after I cried all night and asked Jesus to help me. It would happen when I pulled up my panties - literally or the proverbial ones - and go do what I had to do. Then it would happen when I accepted responsibility for my choices and made new ones.

Strong is a descriptor some assign to me. Now at the threshold of 50 years on this Earth plane, Powerful is one I would add to my autobiography.

Strong because I have been weak, totally vulnerable (and remain so) and I always invariably surrender.

Powerful because I know and have survived pain and suffering without completely losing my dignity.

I say completely as it would be dishonest to say that I have not come close. I did several years ago at the end of a long term relationship. That was the closest I ever came to begging.

The beauty, however, is that that experience - the darkest night of my soul - endowed me with such power. I now know that I do not have to beg for:

* Love

* Money

* Approval

* Worth

All these things I was either born fully equipped with or the ability to access however much is needed (money). That is where some of my fellow Jamaicans still remain in the dark. We all have it. We just need to stand in it. Are you?

Let me share more with you if it would help. Write to me here or via email and we will stand together.

Namaste.

A Woman's Intuition: Mystery or Myth

Clara Brown

If a woman asks you a question, it's better to tell her the truth because chances are she's asking you because she already knows the answer."

Albert Einstein said "The only real valuable thing is intuition."  Intuition or sixth sense is something many of us rely on for quick judgments and often life-altering decisions.  A report of study in Britain's Journal of Psychology (2008) defined intuition as what happens when the brain draws on past experiences and external cues to make a decision but it happens so fast that the reaction is at an unconscious level.

"A woman knows by intuition or instinct what is best for her"self- Marilyn Monroe

Research has upheld the view that a woman's intuition is more fact than foolery.  Theories have suggested that women have an enhanced ability at reading facial expression and emotions. We are much more likely to pick up on subtle cues and read tone of voice and body language much better than men.

Image: themindonpages.wordpress.com

Recently, a few of us girls were engaged in one of our "Help Me Sister On-line" discussions. After minutes of worthwhile banter, laughter, food-for-thought advices and solutions geared at resolving the problems, the Champion Sister then  said, "On another note, how are you all doing otherwise? Is every thing OK?" I found it strange that she should have asked such a question after we seemingly had already thrashed the problems brought to the discussion.

Really taken aback and I waited to see what the responses of the other Sisters would be.  Alas, to my surprise, another Sister brought up a problem she was having with her child. We delved into that with our usual vigor.  However, I could not get over the experience and later asked the Champion Sister how she knew they was at least one other un-aired problem.  She responded that she sensed there was something wrong. I frivolously remarked, "You must be clairvoyant!"

Could this be attributed to the power of a woman's intuition? We were online, no two of us in the same room; no body language to observe.  There was no emotional display outside of the issue we were first discussing. So what would have driven our Champion Sister to ask that "how are things otherwise" question?

I submit - Woman's Intuition.

Image: dailyplateofcrazy.com

Have you ever had the feeling that you should carry out a particular action, one that felt as if your life depended on it? Alan Alda said, "You have to leave the city of comfort and go into the wilderness on intuition.  What you will discover will be wonderful.  What you'll discover is yourself"

There are countless stories from persons whose lives have been altered significantly because they followed their gut-feeling or intuition.  Our intuition offers us power that is a lot more subtle.  Many have downgraded it to sixth sense but it is more powerful than that. What else can explain the way we feel and how we interpret things men just cannot seem to understand.  What explains the raw gut feeling we get when we know something is wrong?

I am sure it is that magical force called intuition that tells you something is not right before any signs even appear. It is a powerful force within us and while many times it is an unwelcome guest, it should always be received and respected as it is a sign that something needs adjustment or just merely to prepare us.

Do you pay attention to your intuition or gut feeling? How much do you rely on it to make those life-altering decisions.  Share your experience with us here, or on our Facebook page.

Have a great rest of the week!

Peddler Of Poison Or Power?

Claudette Esterine

Another Wednesday that means we have an audio blog and today our talk is about "talk. " Listen here.

TRANSCRIPT

Is it just me or have you noticed that people scatter when they hear the words, "let's talk?"

Why is that so? Is it because they think the conversation is going to be painful, boring and possibly repetitive?

Are you in the habit of causing harm with your words or talking about the same thing over and over again?

I know I once was but with time, training and a true desire to have meaningful interactions, I have learned to watch not only my words but my bodily cues.

Another thing that has become a very important thing for me to do is to take care of my inner space. There is real truth and value in the biblical instructions to "guard your heart" as truly the issues of our lives do flow from it.

Our "talk" with others is also directly influenced by our heart, frame of mind and feeling of well being. People will enjoy speaking with you, even those you supervise/manage and to whom you have to offer not so great feedback, if your tongue is not poisoned.

What do I mean by that?

When our heart space is cluttered, darkened and/or riddled with despair, hatred, envy or any feeling other than good, it is near impossible for us to offer conversations to others that will leave them doing the happy dance.

Yes, it is possible to "fake it" for a while and offer "nice" sounding but our body language oftentimes tells a different story - the truth. This is why I have become somewhat of an expert on the cues people's bodies give me - a language that they quite often are unaware that they're speaking.

Words are creative and especially so when fuelled or energized with emotions. The acceptance rate of our invitation to "talk" or the number of persons seeking to have conversations with you is indicative whether your tongue is poisonous or power-filled.

Check your heart to see what is going on in your life. Are you happy or at least on the road to it? Is gratitude a resident there?

Evict greed, jealousy and discontent (and their friends) from the rooms of your heart and see how many more conversations start to taking place in your life.

Be sure to "talk" with us should you need support sending those eviction notices out! Visit our Facebook page and leave a comment!

Namaste