Monday, 16 September 2019


Why are you Happy? 
It’s all about choice  
Michael H Ballard of Resiliency for Life

It was a question I got several times during my often frightening challenges with two bouts of cancer, multiple treatments and life saving midnight surgery. Those where very intense times. I still have the gift of 77 medical clip and several big scars that help remind me of that time and those years of treatment.
Michael H Ballard

After attending yet another doctors appointment at a clinic for a check up I was pulled aside and asked by one of the administrators “Why are you Happy?” Seems out of the 2650+ people the clinic served I was one of six or seven they noted where for the most part happy.  It also turns out that morale at the clinic and keeping staff turnover down was an ongoing challenge. So many of the patients took their frustrations out on staff or where “sour grapes” to deal with for the staff. Staff were doing their best to help the patients and often the family cope and manage a very unpleasant illness. Yet some patients where out and out nasty to deal with.

So back to the question “Why are you Happy? Well mostly it is a choice. Don’t get me wrong a chronic illness that was very painful is not an easy to deal with issue. However I decided after the diagnosis and reflecting on choices that it was better to be happy in life than bitter.

I don’t like having to fight cancer. Yet if you don’t fight how you going to live with the circumstances if things don’t work out?  So, the old expression my grandparents used from England “In for a penny in for a pound” came to mind. In other words if I was going to fight a little why not fight a lot. So I decided to jump into the deep end of the pond and develop several teams of care professionals to help me fight for my life.

Note I said care professionals. Not health care professionals. I had several types of care teams in place. That is another column for another time. Let me leave you with the thought “how have you allowed your present circumstances to define you? What are you doing to define your current circumstances?

So, untill next time, Imagine Yourself with more Resiliency for Life.

To book Michael or interview him you can contact him at:
Michael’s Social Media includes:

Wednesday, 11 September 2019

Learning how to Bounce!
Resiliency : What is it? Why it matters.
Michael H Ballard of Resiliency for Life

Resiliency is starting to get more and more attention. Personal resilience helps us stay healthier, get better in school, have happier relationships, experience more joy  and do better in our jobs. Family resilience also offers that and makes for better neighbours and safer communities.

But, what is it? Resilience is our ability to “bounce back” from adversity. Life’s BIGStuff events that we all have happen to us eventually. Death in the family, loss of a job, divorce, poor performance at work or school, chronic illness, having your house burn down you get the picture.

Resiliency is a set of key factors we can all use to assist us stay safer and move forward and often create more successful outcomes.  There are two major parts to Resiliency. Inner and outer. Inner resilience includes the beliefs you hold to be true,  your problem solving skills, and the goals you’ve set for yourself. Outer resilience includes the values of the community you live in, teams you’ve built around yourself, the education you have, the support you have from family to name just  a few.

So how do we get more? Well to further develop and deepen our inner resiliency a key place to start includes: -  Our self control. Moderation is a very powerful factor in being resilient. Our resistance to temptation, our restraint to over doing things is a great place to start. To further develop our outer resiliency developing and deepening trusting relationships with people who treat us with respect, sharing time with others that have high expectations of us and them of us are powerful places to help us deepen and widen our ability to thrive.

Resiliency is a life long process. A key to me is that we have to set boundaries and  expectations of our self and with others.  Being resilient offers up life as a life long adventure.  It helps us stretch into life’s BIGStuff moments and issues keeping us safer and happier and often helps us achieve much better outcomes.



Michael Ballard specialises in helping people, schools, organizations and communities learn how to become more resilient.

To book Michael for your next event or to consult contact him at:
Michael's Social Media Includes
https://www.linkedin.com/company/resiliency-for-life/

Monday, 1 June 2015

Moving On...

The Daughters of Sheba blog and Foundation have been removed to be under one "roof." Please visit with us now at one of our new places on YouTube. Yes, basically the Mom.

Thanks for the support here...looking forward to seeing you at our new digs.

Friday, 29 May 2015

The World Went Coconuts This Week

Yes! It is Friday again and although the weather in my neck of the woods is being schizophrenic - I am looking forward to a nice weekend!

The wind of change is blowing strongly here. Next week, there will be a major difference as to how you access this blog. Stay tuned over the weekend and make sure to join my Long Bench List to be kept abreast.

In the meantime, it seems most readers loved the essay on Coconut Oil. It had the highest volume of visits. Thank you very much. In case you missed it, check it here.

As always, have a great weekend! Who knows, I might pop in again on Sunday!

Namaste.

Claudette

Thursday, 28 May 2015

Share & Care - L'Oréal Style

Diva I am not although one of my Guest Authors on this blog tries her best to get me to change my ways. My taste for stylish clothes is well up there with the more than average-dressed woman. However shopping for those outfits is not my cup of tea. 


What I do enjoy doing when it comes to the feminine, 'diva-esque' look, is make up. 

Over the years, I have developed my own style of makeup application. It runs along the same lines as my dress style - simple and, if I may say so myself, elegant.


Choosing a brand of make up was the trick. Growing up borderline poor, my choices were limited to my pocketbook. Hand me down make ups from older and employed female friends were my first. As my income increased and my knowledge of makeup application, my skin and what enhances my looks, I bought better quality of maquillage.


Aside from temporarily jumping on the bandwagon protesting the reported racial discriminatory practices of a manufacturer of body care products, I never gave much thought to the human resources practices of cosmetic companies. It just was not part of my decision making when it came to finding the correct rouge or lipstick.
  


That will now change.


After writing about InHerSight - a website and resource that supports women in or entering the workforce with information regarding the best practices of employers - I came across the report on L'Oréal yesterday.

Wednesday, 27 May 2015

Back To Basics: Free Range Kids - How To Grow One

Back in the 60's when I was a kid, all of us were what they are now calling Free Range Children.


We:
  • Played 'dolly house', in cardboard boxes out in the backyard.
  • Sipped on deliciously flavoured mud tea and ate leaves for cakes
  • Ran bucknaked with the dogs
  • Bathed outdoors with hoses
  • Sat under the mango trees and ate the fallen fruits
  • Walked to and from schools alone or in packs of 6 year olds.
Today, after 10 years of running wild and free, most of my childhood playmates are still going strong. With doctorates, bachelor's and master's degrees in law, communications, medicine, theology and many other fields, we all became geniuses at the most coveted field - "Thrivers in Life."


Recently, I shared a story of how my daughter and a playmate fell while horse playing. As there was no money to seek medical treatment for both, my Abigail got her first lesson in mind control. She learned many other lessons prior to and after that on the open fields of life.


Among them, Abigail learned:
  1. To sleep whenever and wherever she needed to through years of slumber swaddled on trains across Europe.
  2. To eat and appreciate most foods at least once and be respectful to her hosts who provide for her. This was taught to her through many meals of Spam, sardines and chicken back - all we could afford at points in our journey.
  3. To entertain herself after spending many hours with other kids in the nearby caves, playing alone with sticks and stones and feeding the pigs and chickens at her grandparents' home in rural Jamaica.
  4. To focus, having done her homework or slept on the floor under my desk or my ex's desk in a noisy newsroom.
If by free range parenting they mean - allowing your child to explore the colours, texture and variances of our world with open eyes and hearts, with parental guidance of right and wrong and a compass to get back home - I am all for it!
Quoting from the National Public Radio:
"Last December, parents in Silver Spring, Md., allowed their two children — 6 and 10 years old — to walk home from a park about a mile away. Someone reported seeing unsupervised kids, the police picked them up and then the parents found themselves under investigation for neglect by their local Child Protective Services (CPS) agency.

The parents, Danielle and Alexander Meitiv, say they believe in "free range" parenting. They want to instill self-reliance and independence in their children. But now they are under investigation again. Earlier this month, police picked up the children as they walked home from a park and took them to the CPS offices. They were returned home hours later." Read more 


Image source: pinterest.com
Although there are other pending charges for other incidents of their setting their children free, news broke this morning that the Mietiv's were exonerated by the Courts. 


Yes, there are people around who have ill-intentions towards children. I personally have had that experience. In my case, however, they were not out by the ballpark where my posse of 7 year olds had gone to play. The predators in my story were right in our house or next door.


When I opened our doors and unleashed my child, it was with her head loaded with information about: which 'pasture' she ought to roam in, mealtimes, description of the wolves and foxes and what to do if one showed up and not to wander off from her fellow chickens!


In a digital age, it is comforting to know that there are technologies available for us to monitor the whereabouts of our children. The flip side, however, is that so many tie their children's living to an app or device.


Mahalia in her open field
Being a "free ranger" myself, I am not immune to this. My daughter and I got into a debate on this when I declared that my granddaughter's first birthday gift from me will be a Tablet! Hypocrite!


My neighbours have two lovely children - free range kids. This gift seems to be very much one from their grandmother, who is about the same age as myself and who grew up on a farm here in Alberta. She is a "do it yourselfer" extraordinaire - around the house and in the yard.  As she is out and about, with or without the children's mother, and the kids can be seen sitting in the dirt having a ball! Not once have I heard either mother or grandmother warning them of bacteria, bugs or getting their clothes messed up. Winter time the same deal. They are out in below zero temperatures - cold but warm enough to be outdoors, making snowmen or beating the crap out of each other with snowballs. And these are not children short on toys, books, gadgets and televisions to watch!


Balance - it is all about balance.


That is the key to parenting that supports a child's development, natural curiosity, well-being and in fact, health. A new buzz word it might be but there is nothing new about free range parenting - that is how we 50+ plusers grew up! 


As for that Tablet for Mahalia? Maybe Canada Day 2016, her birthday. Give her some time to eat dirt, wild flowers, ride a donkey and pull a dog's tail.


There is no manual for parenting. We all do the best we can and hopefully that leaves room for children to explore, be and evolve into their full selves.


Namaste

Claudette

Tuesday, 26 May 2015

Today's Wellness: The Healthiest Oil and Whole Foods

My day job usually starts around 12:30 most afternoons. However, I am fortunate to work with an organization that allows me a lot of flexibility. So I can basically set my own schedule.


Most days when I get in, my colleagues have already had lunch. On the few occasions that my arrival happens before 11:00a.m., I might sit with them for lunch. One such afternoon, as we all gathered, one of my colleagues said he had this "awesome" addition for our salads and coffee.


Lo and behold he pulled out a bottle of pure coconut oil.


"WTH?!!!"


Yes, that was my inside voice and I managed to keep it in but not off my face.


Image: coconut oil.com
This was ludicrous to me! A Canadian living in the Prairies for all his life, maybe venturing every now and again on a Mexican adventure, relaxing at an all-inclusive hotel, introducing me to coconut oil?!


When did the world turn around and the Caribbean island girl was making acquaintance with an "awesome" addition for my salad and coffee - coconut oil?! See, I grew up in Jamaica a once high-producing coconut exporting country, until it died a most unnatural death.


My understanding of the death of coconut was not deep but for all of my childhood coconut oil was the mainstay for just about everything from cooking to hairdressing to body care. By my 20's, the industry was suffocating and no one was in a hurry to rescue it. All attention was on corn and canola oils.


Coconut oil got a bad rep and why? Here is how one website summarizes it: 
"Fats are categorized as either short-, medium-, or long-chain depending on how many carbon molecules they contain. Close to two-thirds of the saturated fat in coconut oil is made up of medium-chain fatty acids, which have antimicrobial properties, are easily digested by the body for quick energy, and are beneficial to the immune system. Far from being dangerous, the saturated fat in coconut oil is actually health promoting.

So how could an oil that is so good for you have gotten such a bad reputation? The answer comes down to simple economics and politics. Based on some flawed studies performed over four decades ago, some of which used primarily hydrogenated coconut oils, a powerful anti-saturated fat movement began. Remember--hydrogenated oils are oils with trans-fatty acids, which have been altered from their original chemical composition and have been shown to raise cholesterol levels and lead to heart disease and other health problems. You should not consume hydrogenated oils, whether it is coconut or another vegetable oil.Read the full article.  
Another Western authority on coconut was Siegried Gursche "a true pioneer of the health food movement in Canada, with a career that spanned more than 50 years." Reviewing Gursche's book, "Coconut Oil: The Healthiest Oil on Earth,"  Dr. Conrado S. Dayrit, an emeritus professor of pharmacology, practicing cardiologist and ground-breaking researcher into the health benefits of virgin coconut oil wrote: 
"More than 80 million people who live in a veritable coconut paradise planted with 300 million trees have not fully utilized the healthiest dietary oil on earth - raw, natural, organic, cold-pressed virgin coconut oil."
With the Wellness Movement in full advance  - one that I fully endorse - coconut oil is the "in thing.

Glorified by today's health conscious consumers, instead of boiling my own oil as my aunt and other elders did, I know pay C$15.00 a bottle. However, as tasty as coconut oil makes my fried chicken or as soft as my skin feels after my daily application of the product I will not add coconut oil to my coffee!


Recently, one of my sources, BlogsRelease, featured a great article by Whole Foods Market on "9 Ways To Cook With Coconut Oil This Summer." Regular readers and Facebook followers of mine know that next to writing and communicating, food is my next favourite topic. The opening paragraph enticed me but the pictures and recipes clinched the deal.
"For many of us, the scent of coconut oil pulls us right into summertime and memories of being slathered with suntan lotion before a day at the beach. These days, however, I'm drawn to coconut oil for its delicious flavor and versatile cooking properties."
I have been using more and more coconut oil in my kitchen lately, in spite of the price of the unrefined product and I must confess aside from taking me back to my island roots, my dishes have not been more tasty!

Why not try all nine or at least a couple of these coconut oil delights? Here are my favourites:









Check out the other recipes from Whole Foods Markets and share your favourites with me. Be sure to sign up for my Long Bench list today and let us chat wellness and coconuts!

Claudette

Product information courtesy of BlogsRelease and this author has not received any monetary compensation for this essay.